Anger's Heartbreak
by sammygirl1963
Summary: TeenChesters: Will John's constant pressure for Sammy to "suck it up" cost him the lives of his sons? Limp Sam/ Angsty and hurt Dean/ Angry and Guilty John. Sam is thirteen and Dean is seventeen.
1. Chapter 1

**Anger's Heartbreak**

**Disclaimer**. I don't own anything recognizable in this story as belonging to Kripke and I am not making a profit from writing it.

**Author's Note: **I was in the mood for writing tonight so I decided to start another WeeChester story.

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Sam was in a surly mood. His father had forced them to pack up and move again just as he had finally made a few friends that he could hang out with after school. Why couldn't his father have waited three more weeks when school was out for the summer. He sighed in exasperation as they drove down the road headed towards the latest hunt.

John looked in the rearview mirror at his youngest child with dissatisfaction. Why did Sammy always have to act like a spoiled brat every time he chose to move the family for a new hunt. He wished his child would just suck it up and get with the plan.

Sam met his father's eyes in the rearview mirror and glared at him. He was upset and didn't care if his father knew it.

"_That's it" _thought John as he pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"I'm sick and tired of you acting like a baby every time we have to move Sammy. You either suck it up like a man, or I'm going to pull you out of the car and bend you over the back of the trunk and use my belt. Do you understand me young man?"

"Yes sir" Sam said with a slight hint of anger in his voice. He didn't want to force his dad to actually follow through on the threat. John didn't spank him often, but when he did, he felt it for days afterwards.

John pulled back onto the road as Dean glanced at Sammy in the backseat. He watched as a tear slowly fell down Sammy's face when he turned his head to look out the window. He felt bad for his little brother, but he could understand his dad's need to hunt down and destroy every demon and supernatural being he could find. He just wished Sam wouldn't buck his dad all the time.

John could feel the tension in the car as he drove down the road and knew that it was going to be a long drive to Billings, Montana. He thought about the hunt that Bobby had sent his way. There had been five killings in the last six months in the woods just outside of Billings and Bobby believed they were caused by a possible werewolf or wendigo. He asked John to look into it for him as Caleb and Joshua were already on hunts of their own.

John was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of Dean's voice.

"Hey dad, can we pull off at the next exit and get something to eat? I'm starving and my ass is getting tired of sitting."

John had to smile at his oldest son's remarks. Why couldn't Sammy be more like Dean. Life would be so much easier if he followed orders like his big brother and did as he was told.

""Yeah, I'm getting kind of hungry myself" John said as he pulled off the interstate and into Ben's Country Kitchen. The Winchesters climbed out of the Impala and went into the diner with Sammy dragging behind. John grit his teeth in frustration before he said something he would regret to his youngest child.

John walked to a booth in the back as Sammy slid in on the other side and Dean slid in to sit by Sammy. A young waitress dressed in a khaki shirt and black pants walked over to take their orders.

"What will it be gentleman?" She said as she pulled her pencil out from behind her ear.

"I'll have a steak, medium well with a side of french fries and a black coffee" said John.

The waitress smiled at Dean and said, "and what would you like handsome?"

Dean grinned one of his cocky grins and said "Are you on the menu?" The waitress blushed at Dean's remark.

"Dean" growled John. He wasn't in the mood to watch his oldest son flirting with their waitress.

"Sorry" said Dean as gave the waitress his order of a double cheeseburger with extra onions, a side of fries and a Coke to drink.

"What will it be for you Sammy? asked John looking at his thirteen year old.

"I'm not hungry" replied Sammy. He wasn't in the mood to eat.

John looked at the waitress with a tight smile and said, "He'll have an order of chicken fingers, a garden salad with Italian dressing and a Coke to drink."

Sam looked at his dad and said "I told you I wasn't hungry."

"I'm not stopping anymore tonight Sam. You either eat the food or I'll feed it to you myself" John said in anger at his youngest son.

The waitress returned with their orders and the Winchesters ate in silence as tension once again filled the air.

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It was well past midnight when John decided to get a motel for the night. He was getting tired and Dean was already sleeping in the seat beside him. He knew Sammy was still awake as he heard the sound of sniffling every so often coming from his youngest son.

He pulled into the Traveler's Motel and paid for one room for the night using a fake credit card. He was given the keys to room number nine and he drove the Impala to park it in front of the room.

He shook Dean awake and told him to open the door to the room while he and Sammy unloaded their bags from the trunk.

Dean opened the room and walked in followed by Sam and his dad.

John looked at his youngest and said "Sammy, get ready for bed while Dean and I salt the doors and the windows."

"But I'm not tired. Why can't I just watch the television for a little while" said Sam.

John had finally reached his breaking point with his youngest. He grabbed Sam by his right arm, turned him around forcefully and swatted him hard on the behind five times.

"You will do as I tell you young man!" he said as he applied his hand to Sammy's bottom.

Sam looked at his dad with tears in his eyes and replied "Yes sir" with a trembling voice. He walked over to his duffle and took out his sleep pants and a blue tee shirt to sleep in. He walked to the motel bathroom and changed quickly, used the bathroom, and brushed his teeth. He then walked out of the bathroom and to the bed that was away from the door and climbed in. He turned his head towards the wall and allowed silent tears to fall.

After they had finished laying the salt lines of protection, John and Dean got ready for bed also. John slipped off his jeans and crawled into the other bed while Dean took a quick shower before climbing into bed.

Around two in the morning, Dean was awakened by a soft sound coming from Sam's side of the bed. He could hear Sam softly crying and figured it was to keep from waking their father who was sleeping in the other bed.

Dean didn't want to embarrass Sam so he rolled over as if in sleep and slung his arm around Sammy's waist trying to give what little comfort he could to his baby brother. He felt it as Sammy snuggled up closer to his chest and he tightened his hold around him. Finally, after about thirty minutes, he could hear Sammy's deep even breathing and knew his brother had went to sleep.

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The Winchesters awoke early the next morning and after a quick breakfast, they were on the road once again. Dean and John discussed the upcoming hunt while Sam read in the backseat.

After approximately five hours of driving, they finally arrived at their destination in Billings. John drove through town and finally stopped at a run down looking house with boarded up windows and weeds instead of a front lawn. The steps leading up to the dilapidated porch had boards missing and the ones that were there didn't look like they would support much weight. Dean and Sam both groaned in disbelief at the house they would be living in for the next few weeks.

"You've got to be kidding me dad. Couldn't you have found a better place for us to stay. That house looks like it could fall in at any minute." Dean groaned.

John smirked and said, "It's better than sleeping in the woods. No grab your gear and get it inside." Dean and Sam both walked to the trunk of the Impala and grabbed their duffle bags before following their father towards the house.

As he walked up the steps, one of them cracked under the weight of John's foot and he told the boys to be careful where they stepped until he could get that board fixed.

They stared in shock as they opened the door and entered the house. The inside looked worse than the outside. The plastered walls was littered with holes punched in them. The floors were filthy from years of accumulated dirt and they could see mold growing on the walls. The only furniture in the room was a chair with one broken leg on it that wouldn't be of any use to them.

Walking into the kitchen, they saw cabinet's with the doors hanging off the hinges and wooden table with four mismatched chairs. The sink had water stains from years of neglect and the stove was an old wood burning one.

John led the boys to the bedrooms where he pointed to the one on the left and said "You boys will sleep in there."

Sam opened the room to see two ragged mattresses lying on the floor for their beds. _"This is just freaking great" _he thought as he walked into the room. He was startled as a rat scurried into a hole in the corner of the room. He shivered just thinking about sleeping in there tonight.

"Dad, there's rats in here, how do you expect us to sleep in here tonight?"

John looked at his son and rolled his eyes. "Suck it up Sammy. Those few little rats aren't going to hurt you."

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John drove to the store to get some cleaning supplies to make the house more livable. He had Dean clean the living room while he cleaned the kitchen. Sam was left with the duty of cleaning up the bathroom and the bedrooms.

Sam groaned upon opening the door to the bathroom to find rat deposits and filthy water in the bathtub. He reached into the tub to pull the plug letting the water drain down. "This is disgusting" he said aloud even though nobody was around to hear. Sam disinfected the tub with the bleach his dad had bought and then went to work on the sink and then the toilet. After the bathroom passed his father's inspection. He went to clean his and Dean's room.

After a full day of cleaning, John took the boys to eat dinner at the local Burger King restaurant before turning in for the night. He wanted to get a good nights sleep before starting the research for their hunt in the morning.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 2**

**Disclaimer**. I don't own anything recognizable in this story as belonging to Kripke and I am not making a profit from writing it.

**Author's Note: **OOPS, I should have mentioned that Sammy is thirteen and Dean is seventeen in this story

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John awoke early the next morning ready to get to work. He went to his sons room and shouted. "Time to get up boys, the day's a wasting." Dean and Sammy both groaned as they rolled over and opened their eyes to see that it was still dark outside. Dean glanced over at the clock.Dean wasn't an early riser and voiced his displeasure at being woke so early. "Dad, it's only five thirty in the morning. Couldn't you just let us sleep for a little while longer?" "You've slept late enough" replied John. "Get your lazy behinds out of bed so we can go get some breakfast."Dean and Sam both crawled out of bed not wanting to incur their dad's wrath. As he walked to his duffle bag to get some clean clothes, Sam cleared his throat rather loudly.Dean looked over at his brother with concern. "You okay Sammy?" he asked.."Yeah, M'okay" said Sammy. "My throat just feels a little funny."

"It's probably from breathing in all that dust while we were cleaning last night. Rinse your mouth with some warm salt water, that should help" said Dean already beginning to pack his things.

Sam walked into the bathroom and stripped down to take a shower. It felt good to have the warm water falling over his body as he relaxed under the soothing spray. Suddenly he heard someone beating on the bathroom door.

"Wrap it up Sammy, I want to be on the road in five minutes" shouted John through the bathroom door.

Sam rolled his eyes. "This is just freaking great, he's already on my ass. It's gonna be a long day!" muttered Sam as he turned off the shower. Sam quickly dressed and walked out into the room.

"About damn time boy, your brother already got your gear and carried it out to the car since you decided to take so long in the shower" growled John as he grabbed Sam by the arm and shoved him towards the door.

John and Sam walked down the rickety steps and climbed into the sleek, black Impala where Dean was already waiting for them. John started the engine and drove them into town to the local diner where he ordered pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon and orange juice for everybody without asking the boys what they wanted to eat.

"Jeez dad" said Dean, 'I'm a big boy you know. I can order for myself."

"Can it Dean" said John with exasperation in his voice. "I'm in no mood for your crap today."

Dean looked at Sammy with an expression that said _"Look out little brother, he's in a bitchy mood."_

The waitress brought their meals to the table and both Sam and Dean cleaned their plates knowing that John would accept no less from them.

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After finishing their breakfast, John drove over to the local library so he and the boys could do some research into the killings occurring in the woods just outside of Billings.

They walked up the stairs into the old library and headed to the periodicals section to check the old news articles to see what they could find. John put a stack of articles in front of each boy before getting some for himself.

"Okay, you boys know what to do. Look for any suspicious deaths where the body was found to be mutilated or in an a state of decay. I want names, dates, anything that will help us to figure out what has been causing the deaths."

"Yes sir" both boys replied in unison as they got to work doing research.

After about two hours of looking through old newspapers, Dean was becoming bored. He surreptitiously looked up to see his father thoroughly engrossed in his research. He pulled a half eaten bag of M&M's from the pocket of his jacket and tossed one at Sammy, hitting him in the head.

Upon feeling something hitting him in the head, Sam glared over at Dean and mouthed "Stop it" not wanting to draw attention to himself or Dean. Dean just looked at Sammy and gave him a wicked grin as he tossed another piece of candy at his brother.

Without looking up at his children, John asked "Do I need to take you boy out back for a little talk?" He had seen what was going on and he didn't like his children shirking their responsibilities.

"No Sir" both boys replied to their father's question as Dean looked at Sammy and mouthed "I'm sorry." He hadn't meant to get Sammy in trouble too, he was just bored and acted without thinking about it.

After John felt like he had enough information written down in his journal, he called an end to the research and led his boys out of the library. Upon entering the bright sunlight, Sam groaned from the pain that he immediately felt in his eyes. He raised his hand to shield them to ebb the flow of pain.

"Something wrong Sammy? Asked John at hearing his youngest child groaning.

"Not really sir, my eyes just hurt a little" He said as he shielded them from the sun.

John shook his head at Sam's low tolerance for pain. "Suck it up Sammy, you need to learn to deal with a little pain. You don't ever hear Dean complaining when he feels a little pain do you?"

"No sir" said Sam feeling like a cry baby. _How come dad always manage to make me feel like a three year old every time he opened his mouth to say something _he thought.

Dean could see the hurt that John's words had caused and hated the way his dad compared Sammy to him. Why couldn't their dad realize that Sammy was his own person? Couldn't he see how special Sammy was in his own unique way. Hell, the kid was a whiz at researching and he made straight A's in school.

Dean was brought out of his thoughts when John told him to get in the car. As he climbed in, he looked in the back seat to see that Sammy had slouched down in the car and refused to look at him. He knew that Sammy most likely had tears streaming down his face from the malicious words his dad had said to him.

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Upon returning back to the house where they were staying, Sam climbed out of the car and winced from the pain that spiked through his eyes once again making sure that he didn't make an audible sound of pain. He quickly walked towards the house to get out of the bright sunlight that was bothering his eyes.

Dean was concerned to see the wince of pain on Sammy's face when he climbed out of the Impala. He didn't know what was going on, but he was definitely going to find out.

As he carried his and Sam's stuff into the house, he looked around and didn't see Sammy anywhere. He walked into their bedroom to put their gear away and saw Sammy lying on the mattress with a washcloth across his eyes.

"Sammy what's wrong, and don't you dare tell me it's nothing" Dean said as he walked over and sat down beside his brother.

"I don't know Dean, for some reason my eyes are hurting and the sunlight just seems to make it worse."

"Let me see" Dean said as he pulled the washcloth away from Sam's eyes.

Sam opened his eyes and looked at his brother. Dean could see that they were red and irritated.

"I'm going to get the Visine from the first aid kit" he said as he stood up. "I'll be right back."

Dean walked out of the house and opened the trunk of the Impala. He opened the red first aid kit and searched through the contents until he found the Visine eye wash. He also took out some Tylenol to give his brother to help with the pain he was feeling. He returned to the bedroom and flushed Sammy's eyes out and recovered them with the cloth before giving his brother two pills from the Tylenol bottle.

"Get some sleep Sammy" he said. "I'll cover things for you with dad."

"Thanks Dean" said Sammy as he rolled to his side putting his palms up to his eyes to make it darker in the room.

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John looked up from his research as he heard Dean walk into the kitchen. "Where's your brother?" he said as Dean walked over to the refrigerator.

"He's in the bedroom. I told him to get some sleep" Dean said in answer to his father's question.

"Damn it Dean, the kid in never going to grow up if you keep babying him. He needs to learn to carry his weight in this family and not whine every time he has a boo-boo."

Dean turned around and glared at his father. "Well if you would have bothered to listen to Sammy for once, you would have seen how irritated his eyes are and known that something REALLY was wrong with him."

John stood up abruptly. "Don't you use that tone of voice with me young man. I am your father and you WILL respect me."

"I'm sorry dad, I didn't mean to be disrespectful. It's been a long day and I'm worried about Sammy."

"Well just don't let it happen again" said John "I'll go check on your brother."

Before John could leave the room, Dean said "He was almost asleep when I left the room. I think we should just let him sleep. It might help with whatever is irritating his eyes right now."

"Okay" agreed John. "Just make sure he doesn't sleep the whole day away. We're going out into the woods tonight and I want to make sure he's up and ready to go on the hunt."

"Yes sir, I'll have him ready to go when you're ready." Dean left his father finish his research and went back to the room that he shared with Sammy. He opened the door quietly so he wouldn't disturb his baby brother and walked over to lay down on his own mattress. He was going to keep a close eye on Sammy and comfort him whenever he needed it whether their dad liked it or not.

**TBC**

_**So Sammy has a slight sore throat and eye pain when exposed to bright light. Just what is happening to the youngest Winchester? The action will start soon!!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 3**

As afternoon turned into evening, Dean knew he would have to wake Sammy soon. Their dad had said he wanted to go hunting tonight and he had promised to have Sammy up and ready for the hunt.

As he looked over at Sammy, he didn't like what he saw. Sam looked so pale and worn down that Dean wondered if maybe he was coming down with the flu or something. Lord knows that would be the last thing they needed with the mood their dad was in. Sam was vulnerable enough to their dad's rantings right now without having to put up with them while he was sick.

Dean got up off his mattress and walked quietly over to where Sam lay sleeping and gently nudged his shoulder to wake him up.

"It's time to wake up Sammy. Dad will be ready to go shortly and we need to get ready for the hunt."

Sam groaned at having been awoken. His eyes still hurt and his neck felt a little stiff. He must have moved it the wrong way in his sleep. He raised his arm to massage the muscles in his neck noting that he had some muscle pain in his arms too.

"_What the hell is wrong with me?" _he thought as he got up off the mattress. He was starting to feel a little chilled but there was no way he was telling dad or Dean. Dad already thought he was a big baby and he didn't want to put Dean in the middle of a squabble with his dad.

Dean watched Sammy as he got up off the mattress and noticed that he was moving a little slower than usual.

"You okay Sammy?" he asked with concern in his voice. "You're moving a little slow there brother."

"M'Okay" said Sam as he stood. "I'm just a little stiff from laying on that hard mattress."

Dean accepted that answer knowing how hard his own mattress felt since they were on the floor instead of being supported by box springs and a bed frame.

"Well, lets go into the kitchen and see what dad wants o do" Dean said as he started walking out the door.

"Yeah, tell him I'll be there in a minute. Nature calls you know" Sam said as he motioned towards the bathroom.

Sam was feeling nauseous and didn't know how long he could hold it off. He felt relief when heard Dean told him to hurry and then watched him walk away. Sam barely made it to the bathroom before he started vomiting forcefully into the toilet. He kept the vomiting as quiet as he possibly could hoping that his family wouldn't hear him. After the spell had passed, he washed his face to wipe away the evidence of tears that had leaked down his face from the force of throwing up and then left the bathroom to join his family.

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Sam walked into the kitchen to see his dad and Dean going over the research. They were very engrossed in their conversation about their thoughts on the upcoming hunt, but looked up as Sam entered the room.

"It's about time you got your lazy behind up" said John as he looked at Sam with barely disguised anger. "We could have already been on our way if you weren't such a girl when it comes to pain"

"M'sorry dad" Sam replied as he turned away from his father and brother to get a glass of water. He could feel tears coming to his eyes and didn't want to show that weakness in front of his family. He surreptitiously wiped his eyes with his sleeve and walked over to the table to join his family.

Dean looked over at Sam as he sat down opposite from him. Sam's eyes still looked to be pretty irritated and he wondered if it was from whatever had been bothering him earlier or if he was trying to hold back tears. He could see the shiny wetness that was trying to creep into Sam's eyes. He smiled at his brother trying to make him feel a little better then looked towards their father.

"So dad, what do you think we're looking for on the hunt tonight?" asked Dean with a hint of anticipation in his voice.

John smiled at the look of eagerness in Dean's eyes about the hunt. At least he had one son that he could count when it came down to the hunt.

"I believe we're looking for a wendigo son. As you know, a wendigo is a creature that was at one time human, but after the practice of cannibalism, it was turned into a supernatural creature with an insane need to constantly eat human flesh. The one we will be looking for is probably emaciated from hunger since the woods have mainly been abandoned by hikers from the others that have been killed there."

John then went on to say, "A wendigo is a very large creature with most of them being over seven and a half feet tall. It will have fangs instead of teeth and the fingernails on it's hands will have turned to long, sharp claws, but don't be fooled by the looks of the thing because it will have super human speed when it moves in for the kill."

"Dude, that sounds like one fugly creature" Dean said after hearing the things his dad had to say. "So how do we kill this thing?"

"Well Dean" said his dad, "Lore says that they can be killed by a silver bullet or ice pick to the heart, but the only sure way to make sure the thing is dead is to set it on fire and watch it burn."

"Awesome" said Dean, thrilled by the idea of setting the creature ablaze. "Looks like we better take a couple of flare guns with us. That way we don't have to get to close to the creature to take it down" and looked to see John nodding in agreement.

John turned to look at hit youngest child. "Sam go check the arsenal in the trunk and see how many flare cartridges we have left. You can at least do that much without messing up can't you?"

"Yes Sir" replied Sam looking at his feet instead of meeting his father's gaze before walking out the door.

"Dad, can't you go easier on him?' asked Dean after watching his brother walk away defeated. "He doesn't need you to be so hard on him all the time."

"He needs to grow up Dean and he isn't going to do that if we both baby him and you already do that enough. Hell, you were killing all kinds of creatures when you were his age Dean. You've got to stop sheltering him from the supernatural world and let him face what's really in the world out there."

John ended the conversation by gathering his notes and telling Dean to get his things so they could leave.

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As Sam was walking towards the Impala to do as his dad instructed, he was suddenly hit with severe abdominal pain which made him nearly double over from the stabbing pains in his gut. Tears immediately formed in his eyes and began flowing down his cheeks as he dropped to his knees. The force of the pain was enough to make Sam bend over and touch his head to the ground as he fought to get control of the pain.

"Son of a bitch" he said through gritted teeth, glad that his dad wasn't there to see and hear him. His dad wouldn't be happy with the language he was using even though he let Dean get away with saying those kinds of words all the time.

As he tried to pull himself together, Sam could hear his father in his head saying _"Suck it up son, it's just a stomach ache, quit acting like a damn baby and get your ass in gear." _

Sam finally got control of the pain as he slowly stood up and continued on his way to the Impala. He opened the trunk and uncovered the hidden arsenal to locate the flare guns. He opened the box and found four flare pistols and ten cartridges. _"That should be more than enough" _he thought as he closed the case and then the hidden arsenal. As he was about to close the trunk, he saw his father walking out of the house, if you could call it that as dilapidated as it was.

"We have ten cartridges for the flare guns sir" said Sam as his father and Dean walked up to him.

"That should be enough to do the hunt" replied John as he said "Now get your behind in the car so we can get something to eat before the hunt."

John drove the boys to the local Ryan's Buffet Restaurant and ordered black coffee for himself and Dean and a Coca Cola for Sammy . The waitress told them to help themselves to the buffet as she left to get their drink orders. John piled his plate high with a slice of steak, a baked potato, macaroni and cheese, and green beans. Dean had much the same except for he had corn in place of the green beans. When Sammy returned to the table, they saw that he had only one piece of chicken and some rice with gravy on it on his plate.

"Sammy, you need to eat more. This hunt is going to be exhausting and you need to build your strength up for it" said John looking at his youngest son.

"I'm not really hungry dad" said Sam as the waitress brought their drinks.

John smiled his thanks to the waitress and then looked back at Sammy with a wicked glare as she walked away. "I don't care if you're not hungry kiddo. I said you need to eat more and you will or I'll force it down your throat myself. Do you hear me?"

"Yes Sir" said Sam. he got up from the table and went to fix another plate. His stomach was feeling awful and he didn't know how he would be able to choke down his food without throwing it all back up.

Sam returned to the table with a slice of ham, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and some corn as he sat down to eat.

"Now that's more like it son. I expect you to clean both plates." said John as he ate his own food.

By the time Sam had cleaned both plates his stomach was churning fiercely and he excused himself to the restroom as Dean was working on his second plate full of food.

Sam hurried into a stall and sat down as fierce cramps attacked his stomach once again. This time, instead of nausea he was hit with a severe case of diarrhea. He moaned in pain as he sat there while his body cleansed itself and cramps assaulted his body.

"_Oh God" _he thought, _"How am I ever going to be able to stand up to the hunt tonight?" _

After a few minutes, Sam was finally able to leave the restroom and go back to their table.

"It's about damn time you got back" growled John as he looked at his youngest son. "I thought you were going to spend the night in there.

"I'm sorry sir" said Sam. "My stomach was a little upset and I wanted to make sure I was finished so I wouldn't mess up the hunt tonight."

"You feeling sick or something, or are you just trying to find a way out of the hunt?" asked John as he stared at his son with disbelieving eyes.

"No sir, I'm fine ." said Sam hoping that John would just leave things be for once.

"Okay then. Let's get this show on the road" said John as they all left the restaurant and loaded in the Impala ready to leave for the hunt.

**TBC**

_**Things are getting worse for Sammy now. Just how will this affect the hunt?**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 4**

**Author's Note: **Sorry this chapter is late. My internet was down for a few days and is sporadic right now due to storm damage.

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By the time the Impala had reached the wooded area outside of Billings, John was more than ready to get the hunt started. All three Winchesters climbed out of the Impala and walked to the trunk to get their gear for the hunt.

"Dean, get two of the flare guns and five cartridges, I'll get the others" said John as he reached in to uncover their arsenal.

""What about Sammy dad, shouldn't he get one of the flare guns for protection?" asked Dean as he followed his dad's orders.

"Are you kidding me?" John asked incredulously. "Sammy would probably set the woods on fire."

Sam, after hearing his father's words, looked down towards the ground and shuffled his feet. It was obvious that his father thought he was useless. He couldn't figure out why he was made to come on the hunt.

"Alright, let's head out" said John as he led the way into the woods while Dean and Sammy followed, each being careful to make the least amount of sound possible. When they came upon an area of the hiking trail that broke off into different directions, John opted to take the trail on the right and told Dean and Sammy to take the one on the left.

Before he left John said, "Sam, you better do just as your brother tells you. The last thing I need is to have to rescue your sorry behind because you didn't follow orders. Do you hear me son?"

"Yes Sir" relied Sammy in a defeated voice. He knew no matter what he did that he wouldn't be able to please his father so it was best to agree to whatever he said.

Dean felt awful for Sammy. He wanted to tell his dad that how much of an ass he was being, but he knew John would get mad so he held his tongue. The problem was, he didn't know if he would be able to hold it for too much longer before he let his father have it with both barrels for the way he treated Sammy.

"Come on little brother" Dean said with a smile on his face. "We've got a wendigo to roast."

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Dean and Sammy followed their trail deeper into the woods, each keeping an eye out for anything out of place. After walking for approximately thirty minutes, Dean decided to sit for a few minutes and rest. He had noticed that Sam was starting to lag behind and wanted to give his brother a few moments to catch his breath.

Sam was glad for the chance to sit down. He didn't feel very well and his muscles were hurting so badly and were starting to cramp. He didn't know how much further he would be able to walk. After a few minutes, he went to stand up and groaned in pain as he was assaulted by severe leg cramps. He fell to his knees and began rubbing them forcefully trying to take the pain away.

Dean was scouting the surrounding area for any clues when he heard Sammy groan in pain. He rushed back to where Sammy was resting to find him on his knees and rubbing his legs.

"What's wrong Sammy, what happened?" He asked as he looked Sammy over trying to see if he was hurt anywhere else.

"It's my legs Dean. My muscles feel like they're seizing and I can't get them to stop" gasped Sam with a trembling voice.

Dean sat by Sammy and took his right leg in his hands and began to massage the large muscle. He could feel they way that it was corded up and could only imagine how painful it must have been for his little brother. After he felt the tension release in the right leg, he immediately went to work on the left one.

"It's probably just growing pains Sammy. I had them when I was growing up and they hurt like hell. We'll get you some Tylenol when we get back to the car" said Dean.

After finishing the massage and making sure that Sammy's legs were feeling better, Dean helped his little brother to get up so they could continue on their hunt. They hadn't gone too far when Dean and Sam heard the most horrible shrieking sound close by.

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John was getting frustrated. He had been searching for the wendigo for a few hours now and still there was no sign of it. He wondered if his boys had seen any signs of the creature being nearby. He couldn't believe how bad this hunt was turning out for him. The hunt had started off on the wrong foot with Sammy being upset because of having to move again and he had made the trip out to Billings a long and torturous affair.

Things just kept getting worse between he and Sammy as the days went by. He didn't know how long it would be before they came to blows and he definitely didn't want that. He was just so tired of all his teenage angst. It was time for the boy to grow up and act like a man.

John was about to continue searching for signs along his trail when he heard a shrieking sound coming from the area that he had sent his boys to.

"Son of a bitch" he yelled as he took of running towards his boys praying that they were okay. He couldn't believe he had sent them into harms way without him.

John ran with reckless abandon through the overgrown area as branches whipped at his body . He ignored the pain as he felt a thin branch tear through his shirt and into his skin. He had to get to his boys quickly.

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Dean scanned the area around him and Sammy looking for the wendigo. He knew it was close by when he heard the eerie sound that the creature had made. He could feel the hairs on his arms raise in anticipation of facing off against the creature, but he was also worried knowing the condition that Sammy was in right now.

Suddenly, Dean saw something moving too swiftly to identify what it was. He couldn't believe how quickly the creature was moving and to make matters worse, it was heading straight for Sammy. Dean didn't have time to raise his flare gun as he threw himself in front of his baby brother. He felt the wendigo's sharp claws rake across his chest just before experiencing the white hot pain that accompanied it.

Sam froze as he saw the creature approaching him. His muscles were seizing up again and he felt a sudden spiking pain in his head that was threatening to take him under. He knew he was about to die as he felt himself losing consciousness. The last thing he saw before passing out was Dean hurtling in front of him as he fell to the ground.

John arrived on the scene just in time to see Dean jumping in front of Sammy as the creature reached out his massive arm to gut his baby boy. He saw Sammy collapsing as he heard Dean scream out in agony at the pain of feeling the claws dig into his chest. John quickly aimed his gun and fired the flare making a direct hit into the creatures heart. He didn't stop to watch it burn as he ran quickly over to his boys.

"Dad, you gotta check on Sammy" Dean said through gritted teeth as he struggled to sit up, seeing that his brother was unconscious. His chest was on fire but he was more concerned about Sam.

As John bent over Sammy, he could see the sheen of perspiration that adorned the youngster's face. He reached out to touch his forehead with his palm and was alarmed at how hot he felt.

"Crap Dean, the kid's burning up. Why didn't he tell me he was sick? He shouldn't have come on this hunt!"

Dean was furious at hearing his father blame Sammy. "You've got to be freaking kidding me. With the way you've been telling Sammy to suck it up and to stop whining, what did you expect him to do huh?"

Dean went on to say, "This is all your fault dad. If you had been more of a father and less of an ass, then Sammy wouldn't have felt the need to hide his sickness from you.. Don't you dare blame my baby brother for this."

John couldn't believe the way that Dean was talking to him but he knew the boy was right. It was his fault. He had been constantly telling Sam to suck it up lately. He made the kid feel like he was inferior to his big brother by comparing them all the time.

"You're right Dean. This is my fault and I'm sorry. I should have been more considerate of Sam and his needs."

"You're damn right you should have been dad. I swear you've made him feel lower than dirt lately. If something happens to Sammy, I will never forgive you for it." Dean turned his head away from his father as his tears began to fall. He couldn't remember ever being so mad in his life.

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John picked his unconscious baby boy up and carried him to the car as Dean struggled to walk behind him. Dean hadn't spoken a word to him since his outburst and John wondered if either of his children would ever speak to him again. He wouldn't blame them if they didn't. He let tears trail down his face as he walked in silence knowing that he could very well lose both of his sons tonight because of his own stupidity.

By the time they made it back to the Impala, Dean was nearly dead on his feet. He had black spots dancing in front of his eyes and he felt like throwing up. His chest felt like it was coming apart from the inside out as pain radiated from the gouge marks in his chest.

He opened the door and crawled into the back seat waiting for John to slide Sammy in beside him. He rested his baby brother's head on his lap and ran his fingers through Sam's hair as he whispered words of assurance hoping that Sammy could somehow hear him.

"I gotcha Sammy. I'll always be right here for you and I swear I'll never let anyone hurt you again, not even dad."

John could hear the conviction in Dean's voice and knew the last part of that message was meant for him. As he raced towards the hospital, he asked for Mary's guidance in making sure that Sammy survived so he could make things right with his boys.

**TBC**

_**Will John lose his boys as the big revelation about Sam's illness is revealed in the next chapter? **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 5**

John pulled the Impala in front of the Emergency Room door and quickly hit the brakes. He opened the door and reached into the back to take a still unconscious Sammy from Dean's arms. He ran inside the ER doors cradling his youngest child to his chest and screaming for help as Dean followed behind him.

Some medics quickly rushed up to John pushing a gurney and took Sammy from his dad's arms and laid him down on the gurney as another pushed a wheelchair towards Dean after seeing the condition that he was in. As they rushed them towards a treatment room, one of the medics pushing the gurney called out "What's his name?"

"Sam, Sam Michaels" called out his father just before the medics entered the doors that he was forbidden to go through with both of his children. The desk nurse approached John with a stack of papers that he would need to fill out for his boys to receive treatment.

Inside treatment room five, the hospital staff quickly went to work on Sammy as he was lifted off of the gurney and onto a hospital bed. As one nurse took his blood pressure, pulse, and temperature another was quickly stripping Sammy down to his boxers to assess him for any unseen injuries.

Dean was ushered up onto another bed in the room as another nurse helped him to remove his shirt. Dean groaned as the cloth was pulled away from his wounds and winced when it sent stabbing pains through his chest.

"Can you tell us what happened?" asked the nurse as she went to work cleaning the blood from Dean's chest with an antiseptic wipe.

"Ah, yeah" said Dean as he pulled away from the nurses ministrations when she touched a particularly deep cut. "We we're camping in the woods when we were attacked by a bear. My little brother wasn't feeling well and we were hiking out to get him some help when we were surprised by the bear. Sammy was pretty ill by that time and I jumped in front of the bear to keep it from clawing him."

Dr. Jack Mitchell quickly entered the room and quickly scanned the two patients in the room. Seeing that the youngest one was unconscious, he walked over to him first.

"What do we have?' he asked the nurses as he put his stethoscope to Sam's chest to listen to his heart.

"The patient's name is Sam Michaels and the other one is his brother Dean" said a nurse identified as Teri Andrews by the name on her uniform badge. Sam's BP is 130 over 85, his respirations are fast and shallow." She then took Sam's temperature and said "temperature is 104.5."

"We've got to get this kid cooled down now. Somebody get me some ice packs. He then looked at the nurse and said "Teri, I want a complete CBC and blood analysis done on this kid, we've got to find out what is causing such a high fever" he then walked over to assess Dean.

"As the doctor prodded the areas on Dean's chest, Dean said "M'okay, please just help my little brother." He watched as the nurse returned and arranged some ice packs around the key points of Sammy's body to lower his temperature.

"Believe me son, we are doing everything we can for your brother, but I've got to check on you too. Looks like we're going to have to stitch up some of these scratches and I want to start you on an IV to replenish the fluids you've lost from the attack" said the doctor as he put on some sterilized gloves to start stitching the wounds. He had Dean lie back on the bed to make things easier and as he worked, he asked him questions concerning Sammy.

"Can you tell me how long your little brother has been sick?" Dr. Daniels asked as he saw the phlebotomist come in to draw blood from Sammy's arm.

Dean winced as the needle slid through his skin and said "Yeah, he's been feeling bad for a few days now, but it wasn't anything major until today. I mean, he never really complained about how bad he was feeling."

As Dr. Mitchell tied off the thread after he had the first deep gouge stitched, he asked, "Was he complaining of pain? What were the symptoms he was complaining of?"

Dean thought over the past few days and replied "He has been complaining with a headache and a sore throat and some muscle stiffness. He also had some problems with his eyes being really irritated and the light was causing him a lot of pain. While we were hiking out of the woods, he got some really severe leg cramps, but I thought it was just growing pains."

After Dr. Mitchell listened to the symptoms that Dean listed, he looked at Teri and said, "I need to speak to these boys father. It sounds like the kid might have meningitis and I would like to do a spinal tap to confirm the diagnosis."

Dean's face quickly paled at hearing the doctor's diagnosis as his breathing rate sped up. He could see black spots beginning to dance in front of his vision. _"Oh God" _he thought" _"What have we done?"_

Dr. Mitchell quickly noticed that Dean was beginning to hyperventilate and guided his head towards his knees. "Calm down son" he said as he rubbed his patients back trying to ease him into a regular breathing pattern again.

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John followed Nurse Teri into the treatment room and immediately saw that Dean was hyperventilating. He asked what had happened as he walked over towards the doctor and his oldest child. Dean looked up and glared at his father as Dr. Mitchells looked at John and said "Sir, I believe your son here had a panic attack when he overheard me ask Teri to come and get you. After Dean told me about your other son's symptoms, I mentioned that I thought young Sam might have meningitis and that I needed your permission to do a spinal tap on the youngster."

John's face also lost all color after hearing what the doctor thought was wrong with Sammy. "_How could I have been so stupid not to notice how sick Sammy was" _he thought as he looked at his unconscious baby lying in the other bed. _"Damn it to hell, I should have known things were serious when he started complaining of how bad the light irritated his eyes._

John was drawn out of his musings by the sound of the doctor's voice. "Mr. Michaels, I would like to do a spinal tap on Sam right away with your permission." John quickly gave it as he walked over to Sammy's bed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'm so sorry Sammy" he whispered with a tear trailing down his face. "Oh God, what have I done to you? I was such an asshole that I couldn't see how badly you were hurting!"

Dr. Daniels had Dean lay down and rest as he walked over towards the bed that Sammy was on. "Teri, please get me the instruments that I will need to perform the spinal tap on Sam." he said as he moved Sammy into position for the procedure as John sat beside his child taking Sammy's hand in his.

The doctor arranged Sammy so that he was lying on his side with his legs flexed up towards his chest and his neck was bent slightly forward. He then put on some gloves as he readied to start the procedure. He felt along the top of Sam's pelvic bone until he located the area between the fourth and fifth lumbar space which was where he would insert the sterilized needle after using lidocaine to numb the area.

After a moment, the doctor inserted the needle into Sam's lower back until it passed between two vertebrae to enter the space where the spinal fluid was contained. He then collected the fluid into three different vials to be sent to the lab for evaluation. After enough fluid was collected, he withdrew the needle from Sammy's back and placed a small sterile bandage over the area as the fluid was rushed to the lab for analysis.

After completing the entire procedure. The doctor once again moved Sammy so that he was lying on his back. This was to reduce the possibility of getting a massive headache from the procedure just in case Sammy became conscious soon.

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Dean watched from his bed as the doctor performed the spinal tap on his little brother. His eyes became moist with tears as he watched the doctor insert the long needle into Sammy's back. He prayed that his baby brother wouldn't wake up during the procedure because he knew how badly it would scare him. As he watched the procedure, he became more angry with his father. It was his dad's fault that Sammy was so sick now. Sammy had tried to tell him that he wasn't feeling well, but their dad kept telling him to "suck it up Sammy." If their dad hadn't pushed him so hard, then Sammy wouldn't have hid just how sick he was becoming. He didn't know if he would be able to forgive his dad for putting Sam's life in jeopardy.

After checking Sam over once again to make sure there wasn't any complications from the procedure, Dr. Mitchell left the room to rush the lab technicians for the results of Sammy's test saying that he would return as soon as he had a diagnosis on the youngster.

Dean struggled to get up out of his bed so that he could be near his baby brother. When John approached to help, he said "Leave me alone, you've already done enough damage dad. We don't need you here. Why don't you just leave. It's your freaking fault that Sammy is lying in this bed so sick."

John was stunned at Dean's outburst. "Son. I never meant for Sammy to…" he said but Dean cut him off before he could continue what he was saying.

"I don't give a damn what you meant dad" Dean snarled as tears glistened in his eyes. "Because of you and your constant pushing for the kid to suck it up, Sammy could die. Are you happy now? You've finally broke the kid dad, and I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what you've done to my baby brother. Please, just leave us alone."

John was devastated at hearing his son's words. He never realized what he was doing to both of his sons by pushing Sammy so hard. He had just wanted the kid to become tougher because of the things they fought. He knew Sammy needed to become stronger if he was going to participate in the hunt for the thing that killed his mother.

"Dean, I need…" John stopped what he was saying as he watched the door open and Dr. Mitchell enter the room carrying a folder with Sam's name on it.

"Mr. Michaels" the doctor said "The results of the test show that Sam does NOT have meningitis, but another rare disease. Sam has Leptospirosis."

"What in the hell is that" asked Dean not giving John a chance to speak.

"Dr. Mitchell turned to face Dean and said, "Leptospirosis is a bacterial disease that is usually transmitted by contact through soiled water from animal urine or droppings, the most likely of which is rats."

"Damn" said John, "We just moved into a house that was in a bad state of disrepair. Sammy was cleaning the bathroom and the tub did have some nasty looking water in it."

"Then that's most likely the cause of the disease. If Sam happened to rub his eyes or his nose when cleaning, the disease would have easily been transmitted through the mucosal surfaces in those areas." The doctor looked at John and said "We'll need to do some tests on Sammy to check for liver failure and kidney damage as a result of the disease having progressed so far."

**TBC**

_**Were you surprised with the revelation of Sam's illness?**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 6**

_**Previously: "**_Sam has Leptospirosis, a bacterial disease that is usually transmitted by contact through soiled water from animal urine or droppings, the most likely of which is rats. We'll need to do some tests on Sammy to check for liver failure and kidney damage as a result of the disease having progressed so far."

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After Dr. Mitchell spoke to John and Dean about Sam's condition and John had given his permission for the tests to be conducted, he left the room to prepare for the tests and to give the family some time to be alone together.

Dean was seething with anger at his father after hearing the doctor's words. Sammy was now facing a life threatening condition and it was all John's fault. He turned flinty, cold eyes towards his father and said "I told you to leave, we don't need you here _DAD!_"

John could hear the venom in Dean's words, especially the way he spat out the word dad. It hurt so bad to know that his oldest child held him in such contempt right now and he truly couldn't blame him. He knew the only thing he could do right now was to give Dean some time alone with Sammy so he walked towards the door.

Before leaving, he turned around and said, "I know it's my fault that Sammy is so sick right now, but I swear to you Dean, I would trade places with him in a heartbeat if I could. I hope one day you can forgive me. I'll leave you two alone for a little while, but I WILL be back later. You are both still my sons whether you like it or not!"

John walked out the door feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. He wondered how he could possibly hurt this bad and not be dying. His chest felt constricted and he was finding it hard to breathe. He desperately needed to get out of the hospital and think, but couldn't stand the thought of not being close to his sons, even if they didn't want him there. Instead, he found himself going to the nearest stairwell exit where he sat down on the steps, put his head in his hands and cried.

Dean was happy when his father had finally conceded to his words and left the room. He was so blinded by anger that he couldn't see beyond his own hurt to notice what his words were doing to John. He looked over towards Sammy who was still unconscious and blissfully unaware of the turmoil his family was in right now. Dean knew that he was going to need support if he was going to get through everything to come so he placed a phone call to the one man who was like a beloved uncle to him and Sammy.

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Bobby was awakened from a deep sleep by the sound of the telephone ringing. He glanced at his alarm clock to see that it was only four thirty in the morning_. "Who in the hell would be calling at this time of morning" _he thought as he stumbled out of his bed and picked up the phone after the fifth ring.

"You better have one hell of a reason for waking me up at this time of the morning" he growled into the phone not knowing who was on the other side.

"B-Bobby?" Dean gasped in a shaky voice so low that he wondered if Bobby had even heard him. He couldn't believe how weak his voice sounded.

"Dean, is that you boy?" Bobby asked after hearing the shaky voice that was coming through the receiver. All thoughts of sleep were immediately forgotten as he strained to hear what Dean was saying.

"Yeah, Bobby s-something happened and Sammy's really s-sick. I n-need you Bobby, Please come."

Bobby was immediately thrown on edge after hearing Dean's voice. He had never seen or heard the boy so shaken up before. He couldn't even imagine what must have happened to leave the kid in the panicked state that he was now.

"Where are you Dean?" he asked knowing he had to get there ASAP.

"Were at St. Vincent Hospital in Billings. Sammy's really sick Bobby. I can't do this myself."

Bobby wondered where John was and why he wasn't there for his boys. Sure, Dean was seventeen years old and had taken care of himself and Sammy for so long that John had basically shirked his duties as a father, but Bobby knew that John wouldn't leave his children alone if one of his children was seriously ill.

"Dean, where's your dad?" asked Bobby figuring that he must have went on a hunt not knowing what was going on.

Bobby was surprised by the immediate change he heard in Dean's voice when he heard him spitefully say "I told him to leave, we didn't need him here." He couldn't believe the venom he heard in the words that Dean had said.

Bobby wondered what in the hell could have happened to create such a rift within the close knit family. He remembered the first time he had met the family with Dean holding baby Sammy and a four year old Dean clutching to his father's leg. He had to get out to Billings and straighten out whatever had happened to hurt Dean so badly.

"I'm on my way Dean, I'll be there in a few hours" he said before hanging up the phone and quickly packing some gear. He climbed into his old pickup truck and headed out for the destination of Billings. Montana.

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Dean hung up the phone feeling a little better knowing that Bobby was on the way. He felt like a big baby for having called Bobby, but he knew he couldn't help Sammy fight this battle alone. They would need some support and a place for Sammy to heal if…. no WHEN Sammy got better and was released from the hospital. He couldn't trust his dad to take care of Sammy right now.

Dean was drawn out of his thoughts when he heard a slight rustling sound coming from Sam's bed. He immediately climbed out of his own bed and winced at the pull of stitches across his chest as he walked over towards Sammy's bed. He saw that Sammy was restlessly moving his head back and forth.

"Sammy, can your hear me?" he asked needing his little brother to open his eyes.

Sam was floating in the world just before consciousness. He could hear the soft sound of Dean's voice calling for him and struggled to open his eyes but it hurt too damn much to do so. He whimpered in pain as he felt a comforting hand lay against his cheek. He turned his head into that hand knowing that it was a feeling of safety, of being loved.

As Dean was trying to wake Sammy up, he heard him whimper softly in pain. He pushed the call button for the nurse as he placed his palm on Sam's cheek. _"Damn, the kid feels hot" _he thought as Sammy leaned into his palm.

The nurse walked into the room and asked "Can, I help you?"

"Yeah, my brother is waking up and he is experiencing some pain, can you get his doctor for me?' Dean asked.

"Of course, I'll get him right now" the nurse said as she exited the room.

Dean once again focused his attention on his baby brother. "Sammy can you open your eyes for me little dude?" he asked with a pleading voice.

Sammy could hear the obvious concern in Dean's voice as he latched onto the words he was saying to help pull him out of the fog that he was in. As he became more alert, he opened his hazel eyes to see Dean looking at him with a smile on his face.

"Damn, it's good to see you awake little brother. How are you feeling?" Dean could see the lines of pain that were crossing Sammy's face.

"I d-don't feel so good Dean, what 'appened? Where am I?" Sammy asked feeling a little woozy as he struggled to sit up.

"Don't try to get up Sammy, you're in the hospital. You've been pretty sick dude."

Sam's face immediately paled even more. "Damn, dad's really going to be mad at me know" he said with a slight edge of panic to his voice.

"Don't you worry about dad Sammy, I've got things covered" Dean told him as the doctor entered the room.

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Sammy looked over to see a doctor entering the room.

"Hello Sam, my name is Dr. Mitchell. It's nice to finally meet you. How are you feeling young man?

Sam looked at Dean before replying in a sheepish voice. "I'm not feeling to great right now."

The doctor gave Sam a look of concern and said "Where are you hurting Sam?"

"My stomach hurts pretty bad and I feel kind of achy all over" he said as he tried to adjust himself on the bed.

"I'll have the nurses give you something for the pain Sam, but first I am going to have some tests run to establish exactly where we need to go from here so we can get you better again." The doctor then looked at Dean and said, "Where's you father?"

"I asked him to leave me and Sammy alone for a little while. He said he would be back in a little while." Dean stated as he unconsciously ran his fingers through Sammy's hair.

"I'm going to go ahead and get those tests started on Sam since your father signed the permission forms earlier. We need to get his treatment started as soon as possible" the doctor said before walking out the door.

A few minutes later a young man wearing green scrubs entered the room. "Hi there, my name is Michael and I'm here to collect some blood for testing" said the phlebotomist as he placed his equipment on the bed near Sam's legs.

He gently took Sam's arm in his hands and straightened it out as he patted the inside of the elbow area with his fingers. Finding a good vein, he quickly inserted a hypodermic needle into the vein and collected four vials of blood. He then pulled the needle out of Sam's arm and applied a little pressure to stop the bleeding. He put a cotton ball on the puncture area and applied a Band-Aid over it to keep it in place.

Dean watched as the man in the scrubs drew blood from Sammy's arm. He saw Sam wince when the needle was pushed into Sammy's arm. He squeezed Sam's shoulder in a gesture of comfort and watched as Sam gave him a small smile.

Just as the phlebotomist was about to leave the room, the doctor walked in and said, "Michael, I want a CBC, an arterial blood gas analysis and a blood volume work up as soon as possible."

"Sure thing doc. I'll have the lab get right on it" he said before walking out the door.

Dr. Mitchell then turned his attention back to Sam.

"Sam, I need to collect a urine sample from you. Do you think you'll be able to provide a sample on your own or do I need to insert a foley catheter to collect the sample?"

Sam's cheeks grew red with embarrassment and he looked towards his blanket as he said "I think I can do it myself." He felt the heat in his cheeks and couldn't force himself to look Dean or the doctor in the eyes.

"It's okay Sammy, don't be embarrassed little brother. I used to change your diaper you know" Dean said hoping to make things easier for his brother.

Dean left the room as a nurse came in and helped Sam to sit up so he could give a urine sample since Sammy was too weak to sit up by himself. He was too embarrassed at the thought of Dean being there for such an uncomfortable moment.

After Sammy finished, the nurse helped him to lay back down and then left allowing Dean back into the room.. She had to get the urine sample down to the lab for a urine culture and analysis as per the doctor's order.

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Dean was sitting beside Sam's bed talking with his brother when he heard the door open and looked up to see John entering the room. He glared at his father as he watched him walk over to the other side of Sam's bed.

John was extremely happy to see Sammy awake when he entered the room.

"God Sammy, it's so good to see you awake son. How are you feeling?" he asked as he reached out to brush the bangs from Sammy's eyes.

Dean didn't even give Sam time to answer as he growled out 'How do you think he feels?"

John didn't even have time to speak before the door opened again and they all looked to see Bobby entering the room with a worried look on his face.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 7**

Bobby could feel the frigid atmosphere as soon as he walked into Sam's room. He could see how tense Dean was just from the way his shoulders were held so rigid. He could feel waves of anxiety coming off of John and wondered what the fool had done this time to create such a hostile atmosphere in young Sam's room.

Bobby walked into the room and over to Sammy's bed. "Hey there sport, I hear you're not feeling to well" he said as he ruffled Sammy's hair.

"No sir" Sammy answered him with downcast eyes. He hated having to admit he was feeling bad in front of his father and wasn't able to suck it up. Now had dad had more ammunition to use against him.

Bobby felt bad when he noticed how Sammy seemed to cringe when he made the statement about him feeling bad and he noticed how Sammy avoided looking at him or anybody else in the eye. _"Why is Sammy ashamed of being sick" _he wondered as the kid rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes.

Still wondering, Bobby looked at John and Dean and said, "Why don't we go out in the hall and talk so Sammy can get some rest.

Dean palmed Sammy's cheek with his hand and said, "Ill just be in the hallway with dad and Bobby, get some rest dude. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Sam smiled to let his brother know he had heard him since he was suddenly too weary to even open his eyes. He drifted off to sleep as he heard the others leaving the room.

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"What in the hell is going on here?" Bobby gritted out through clenched teeth demanding an answer. "Why did Sammy just recoil in on himself at having to admit he was sick?"

Dean looked at his dad with piercing eyes as he uttered "Why don't you ask HIM" enunciating the last word with unmitigated anger. "He's the freaking reason Sammy is in the hospital now."

Bobby was taken back by how angry Dean was at his dad. Dean was always the perfect soldier when it came to John. He couldn't believe how things had changed so drastically since the last time he had seen the Winchester family.

"Care to explain what's going on here John, and don't bother telling me that it's none of my business. I love those boys like they are my own" said Bobby as he turned his attention to John.

It's kind of hard to explain Bobby. Things have been a little tense between me and Sammy lately. I mean the kid has been so moody and always picking an argument with me, how was I supposed to know that he truly was getting sick? I just thought he was being his usual whiny self."

"That's not fair dad, don't you dare blame Sammy for this. He told you he wasn't feeling well, but you just kept telling him to 'suck it up Sammy.' You didn't listen to him and now he's paying the price. You make me sick!" Dean spat out as he turned around and walked back into Sammy's room. He couldn't stand to be around his father anymore.

Bobby turned disbelieving eyes on John. "Is it true, did you ignore the warning signs that Sammy was giving you about being sick?"

"I thought he was just trying to get out of the hunt Bobby. You know how much of a pain he has been lately about hunting" John stated trying to defend his actions.

"He's just a kid you damned idjit" Bobby forced through clenched teeth. "When are you going to look past your need for revenge to see that you've got two children who need your love and support John? They're not the soldiers that you want them to be. I ought to shoot your ass for what you are doing to them."

John was upset at the dressing down that Bobby was giving him. "They're my kids Bobby and I'll raise them as I see fit!"

"Yeah, and just look where that's got you now" Bobby said. "You're oldest son can't even stand to be near you and your baby boy is in the hospital. That's some fine job you've done of raising them."

John deflated upon hearing Bobby's words. Bobby was right. He felt like Dean hated him right now and if something happened to Sammy, then he would lose Dean as well.

"God Bobby, things are just so crewed up right now. I've really messed up where Sammy is concerned. What the hell am I gonna do? I can't lose my boys."

"I don't know what to tell you John. You've got your work cut out for you. Right now, you've just got to be there for them, let them know they're the most important thing in your life. Just give them some time and patience and hopefully things will get better."

John rubbed his hand across his bearded chin and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I've got a long road ahead of me where the boys are concerned, but I'm going to take every step it takes to get my boys back Bobby."

Bobby clasped his hands on John's shoulder. "Well then let's take that first one by getting back in that room with your boys."

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Dean was sitting in the chair beside Sammy's bed and softly rubbing Sammy's cheek with his fingers when John and Bobby walked back into the room. He looked up at the hunters through bloodshot eyes as he rubbed at his chest. He was in a good bit of pain but tried to hide it not wanting to leave Sammy's side.

"Dean, you need to let the doctor give you something for the pain you're feeling" John insisted hoping that Dean would give in.

"The only thing I need is for Sammy to get better and you to leave me alone" Dean said as he once again focused his attention on his baby brother.

John was just about to say something more when Sam's doctor walked back into the room.

"I'm glad you're both here" Dr. Mitchell stated at seeing both John and Dean in the room. "I've got Sam's test results back."

The tension in the room rose dramatically as the doctor made his announcement. They could tell by the look on the doctor's face that the news wasn't going to be good.

"I'm sorry to say the disease has progressed further than we had first thought. Sam's liver and kidneys are being infected by the toxins from the disease. I was hoping that we could have treated the Leptospirosis with a high level dose of antibiotics, but since the disease is in an advanced stage, Sam is going to need dialysis on his kidneys and liver if he is going to survive this disease." Dr. Mitchell always hated delivering such devastating news to the family members of his patients, especially when the patient was as young as Sam.

"Doc, what are his chances?" asked John needing to know how much of an uphill battle Sam was going to be facing.

"He has a 60/40 chance of surviving this disease John. I know you would like to see better odds, but I can tell that Sam is a fighter and we will do everything we can to help your son."

"When will you need to start the treatments?" John questioned.

"I'd like to start them as soon as possible. The sooner we start, the better chance Sam has of making a full recovery" Jack explained. "With your permission, we will get Sam started on the dialysis treatments tomorrow morning."

"Just do whatever is best for Sam doc. He's my main priority right now." stated John as he signed the permission forms for the doc to start the treatments on Sam.

As the doctor left, John and Bobby looked over to see that Dean had his head pillowed on his arms on the edge of Sammy's bed and that his shoulders were shaking. It was obvious that Dean was crying from the muffled sounds that were coming from the bed.

John walked over and placed his hand on Dean's back trying to offer his support to his oldest child. Dean looked up at him with tears streaming down his face and said, "Why couldn't you have just listened to Sammy? Why did you have to push him so much that he decided to hide how bad he was feeling?"

Suddenly a look of total despair crossed Dean's faceas he sobbed out, "Oh God, what have we done? It's my fault too. I should have stood up to you when I felt Sam wasn't telling you everything."

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Bobby felt awful for Dean and John as he watched the emotions that crossed their faces. They were both being overwhelmed by the fact that they had played a part in Sammy being so ill right now. He could see the total devastation on Dean's face as he watched the kid becoming more and more upset. He knew he needed to calm the kid down quickly.

Dean's face quickly lost all color as he thought about his role in Sam's illness. His breathing sped up and he began to see black spots dancing in front of his eyes. He knew he needed to calm down in case Sammy needed him but he just couldn't seem to get control of himself.

Bobby quickly made his way to Dean's side, seeing that John was still having trouble getting control over his own emotions. He placed his hand on the back of Dean's head and pulled the boy towards him until Dean's head rested on his chest. "You've got to calm down Dean. Listen to my breathing, in and out. Breathe with me kid, in and out, in and out."

Bobby could feel Dean starting to relax and gain control of his breathing once again. "That's it Dean, keep it up, in and out, in and out."

Dean felt a little better as the black spots started to recede and he regained control of his breathing once again thanks to Bobby.

"M'okay now Bobby" Dean said as he felt Bobby cradling his nape. "Thanks for coming man."

"Anytime Dean, you know how I feel about you boys. Anytime you need me, all you have to do is call and I'll be here." Bobby meant every word of what he said to Dean, He would go through hell and high water for either of John's boys if they needed him.

Determined to help his friends, Bobby said "Alright, it's time to pull yourselves together. Sammy is going to need your strength to get through this coming battle. I suggest you two put this anger behind you for Sammy's sake and give the kid all the support he needs.

"You're right Bobby" said Dean, "We need to push our feeling aside until Sam's better and then figure out where we go from there." Seeing that John agreed, they focused their attention on Sammy and the battle to come.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 8**

**Disclaimer: **I only wish I owned them and I most definitely am not making a profit from this story.

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Dean sat in silence as he watched his little brother sleep. He couldn't believe how peaceful Sammy looked knowing how sick his little brother really was. He dreaded the point when Sammy was going to wake up since he didn't yet know about the results of the test. He felt sure that Sammy was going to be scared to death when they told him about the dialysis treatments that he was going to need.

Dean looked over to see his dad and Bobby quietly talking so that they wouldn't wake up Sammy. He wondered what they were talking about and if it had anything to do with the situation that they were all facing now. He noticed that Bobby looked kind of angry and wondered what his dad had said to put that look on Bobby's face.

Dean's attention was drawn back to his baby brother when he heard a slight rustling sound coming from Sammy's bed. He turned to see a grimace cross Sammy's face as he arched his back slightly.

"Sammy, what's wrong, are you in pain?" he asked as he watched Sammy slowly open his eyes.

"M'okay Dean" Sammy said trying to hide the pain that was spiking through his abdomen and into his back.

"Sure you are, I can see that by the pain lines that are etched into your face right now" replied Dean. He wasn't going to allow Sammy to hide how he was feeling anymore, that's what got them into this mess in the first place.

Drawn out of their conversation by the sounds of Sammy's voice, John and Bobby looked over to see Sammy had finally woken up. They listened in as Dean talked with Sammy about the pain he was feeling. John and Bobby both stood and walked over to Sammy's bed.

"Hey kiddo, I'm glad to see that you're finally awake" said John as he pushed back the bangs from Sammy's forehead. "We need to talk."

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his chair as Bobby cleared his throat, neither one was looking forward to the conversation that was about to start. Dean was glad that John was finally taking his parental duty seriously since he didn't know if he would be able to tell Sammy about the dialysis himself.

Sammy saw the way that Dean shifted nervously in his chair and wondered what was making him so uncomfortable. He looked up to his father and said "Sir?" He stated the word as a question so that his dad would continue with whatever he had to say.

"Sammy, while you were sleeping, the doc gave us the results of the tests. The disease has progressed further than the docs thought and they're going to have to start you on dialysis treatments tomorrow to clean the toxins out of your body son" John said as he ran his hand soothingly up and down Sammy's arm.

Tears immediately sprang to Sammy's eyes as he turned his head away from his family. "Great, now I'm a bigger burden then ever" his voice shakily admitted. He couldn't face his family knowing what a disappointment he must have been to them. Now they knew just how weak he really was. He wouldn't blame them if they turned around and walked away. He couldn't just suck it up like Winchesters were supposed to do.

Sensing the line of thinking that Sammy had slipped into, Dean immediately spoke up.

"Don't you do that Sammy, don't you dare blame yourself for being sick. This has nothing to do with being weak and stop saying that you're a burden because you're not. I don't know what I would do without you in my life."

Sammy turned around to face his brother and Dean could see that his eyes were misting over. "I'm scared Dean" he whispered "What if something goes wrong, Dad'll leave me behind and I don't wanna be by myself."

Dean could see how despondent Sammy was becoming and said "I swear to you Sammy, you will NEVER be left alone. If dad leaves you behind, then I'm staying too. Besides, I'm going to speak to Bobby about letting us stay with him for a while after you get out of the hospital."

Sammy gave Dean a small, tentative smile. "You really mean it Dean, you won't leave me?"

"Hell yes I mean it" Dean said emphatically. "Where you go, I go. You may be my pain in the ass little brother, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sammy smiled a true smile this time, feeling much better after hearing Dean's words.

John watched wistfully as Dean was able to soothe his brothers fears. He felt guilty hearing about Sammy's fear of being left alone, thinking that he would be left behind. John was finally beginning to realize just how much his neglect and harsh words had hurt Sammy. _"Damn, why don't I ever show my boys that I love them" _he thought and decided to rectify that situation right away.

John took hold of his youngest child's hands, looked him in the eye and said. "Son, I am so, so sorry for being a drill sergeant instead of your father. I was totally wrong in telling you to suck it up. I should never have put the hunt before you or your brother. I realize now how much of a fool I have been and how you've paid the price for it. I promise Sammy, I will never leave you behind and I'm going to try my damnedest to be a better dad to you and your brother. "

Both Dean and Sam's jaws dropped in shock when John had finished his speech. They had never heard their father admit to being wrong before or putting the hunt before them. Dean was beginning to think maybe their dad did have a heart after all, but still had to say with a smirk "Who are you and what have you done with our dad?"

John grinned and called Dean a smartass as he playfully ruffled Sammy's hair. He hoped that just maybe Dean would see that he was trying to change and make things right.

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Dr. Mitchell entered Sammy's room later that evening to talk with the family about what to expect the nest morning. He was happy to see that young Sammy was awake and smiling.

"Hey there Sam, how are you feeling tonight?" he asked as he picked up Sam's chart to read the latest notations on how his patient was doing.

Before Sammy could answer, Dean said "He's been having some pain in his stomach but he won't admit to it."

"Well, I can take care of that" Dr, Mitchell said as he walked out of the room to return a few minutes later.

"Sam, I'm going to add some medication to your IV to help with the pain. It will also help you to get a good night of sleep so you'll be more rested for the treatment tomorrow."

The doctor then motioned for everybody to take a seat so he could prepare them for what Sammy would be facing in the morning.

He turned his attention towards Sam and said "Sammy, right now your body is unable to get rid of toxins and waste products in your blood because your kidneys and liver aren't working the right way. Dialysis is an artificial way for us to remove these waste products from your blood so that your body doesn't build them up while your kidney and liver heals. It will also remove any excess fluid and keep your body from swelling up and causing an abnormal rise in blood pressure"

Jack then went on to say, "This is what is going to happen tomorrow. I am going to place a small tube or catheter in your stomach. I'll use a local anesthetic so you won't feel any pain. After the tube I inserted, we'll begin the dialysis treatment. Basically what that means is we will pump a mixture of sugar and minerals dissolved in water into your stomach. That solution will draw the waste products from your blood as we leave in there for approximately five hours. After the dwell or wait time is over, we will connect the catheter to a drain line so that a machine can pump the solution out of your body.

Seeing how pale both Sammy and Dean's faces were, Jack said "I know it sounds kind of scary, but it really isn't that bad. We will be constantly monitoring Sam's condition while the process is going on and I can allow one of you to stay with Sammy as long as you follow protocol so that we can keep the environment as sterile as possible."

Dr Mitchell then looked up at John and said "Do you have any questions about what will happen tomorrow?"

John shook his head and said "No, you've explained it pretty well and in terms that Sammy can understand, thanks for that."

"You're welcome and if you need anything, don't be afraid to buzz for me. I'm happy to help in any way that I can." Jack said before leaving the room.

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A few hours later Sammy and Dean were both sleeping in their respective beds. Sammy was in a deep sleep from the pain medication that had been injected into his IV, but Dean was moving about restlessly on his bed. John walked over to place a calming hand on Dean's forehead only to find him burning up with fever.

"Holy Shit" he exclaimed feeling the heat coming off of his son's forehead.

"Bobby, buzz for the doctor. Dean is burning up" he said with a tone of panic to his voice. He wondered how in the hell he had missed the signs that Dean was getting sick.

Jack walked into the room a few minutes later to find John standing beside Dean's bed with a cold compress held to his head.

"Doc, could you check Dean out, he's burning up with fever" John said as Jack quickly walked over to the bed.

Sensing what was wrong, Jack immediately pulled up Dean's shirt and frowned at the red swollen skin surrounding the claw marks on his chest. "Damn, some of the wounds on Dean's chest have become infected" he stated as he paged for a nurse to come to the room.

"Teri, I need your help here, I'm going to have to open some of these wounds and clean them out. Dean has developed an infection and I need to get it stopped before it becomes serious."

Teri quickly gathered the supplies that Dr. Mitchell would need as he gave Dean an injection to numb his chest. He didn't want him to suffer from any more pain than was necessary.

Jack used a scalpel to open the stitched wounds and lightly prodded them to force any pus build up to the surface. As the yellowy substance began to seep out of the cuts, Teri mopped it up with some sterilized gauze to keep the area clean. Dean moaned as Jack once again cleansed the deep gouges thoroughly before stitching them up once again. He then rolled Dean onto his side and pulled the hem of his pants down slightly and gave him a strong antibiotic injection in his behind.

"Teri, I want an IV hooked up to replenish any fluids that Dean lost because of the fever. I also want some Cipro piggybacked into his IV to kill this infection before it takes a strong hold in his body.

While Teri was getting Dean hooked up to the IV, Jack walked over to check on Sammy once again. He smiled to see that the child getting a restful sleep and that his vitals were as he expected them to be. He patted Sammy on the leg and affectionately said "I'll see you in the morning kid."

Before leaving the room, Jack turned to John and Bobby and said "Dean will be fine. We caught the infection before it took a strong hold. The injection I gave him should knock that fever out overnight. Try to get some sleep tonight and I'll see you in the morning."

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 9**

**Disclaimer: **I only wish I owned them and I most definitely am not making a profit from this story.

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John woke up early the next morning to see that it was still dark outside the boys bedroom window. He rubbed his weary eyes as he glanced over at his sleeping boys. Sammy was still in a deep sleep from the effects of his medication and Dean was resting better also. John walked over and placed his palm on Dean's forehead.

"Good, the fever is definitely coming down" he thought as he ran his hand over Dean's hair. "Dean would never allow this if he was awake."

John paced the room nervously. Sammy's treatments would be starting soon and he was worried about how his baby boy was going to react to them. He knew the treatments would be rough for his youngest and wished he could change things, go back to the time before Sammy ever got sick.

As he watched the sun coming up over the horizon, John became more anxious. He knew that the doctor would be in any minute to administer the lidocaine that would numb Sammy's stomach area so that he could make the incision to insert the catheter later in the morning.

John walked over and ran his fingers through Sammy's too long hair as he whispered "Everything's going to be okay Sammy. We're going to get through this as a family and come out stronger because of it." John didn't know if he said those words for Sammy's benefit or for his own.

A few minutes later, Dr. Mitchell walked into the room and said "Good morning John. I'm here to give Sammy the injection to prepare him for his dialysis treatments."

Dr. Mitchell then walked over as he gently pulled Sam's pajama top up revealing his abdomen. He patted Sam's cheek lightly to arouse him before giving him the injection so as not to startle him.

"Sam, I need you to wake up for me. Can you do that?"

"Mmmmhmmm" Sammy mumbled as he rolled his head to the side without opening his eyes.

Seeing that Sammy was settling back into sleep, John smiled and gently shook his baby boy's shoulder. "Come on Sammy, it's time to wake up."

Sam mumbled something unintelligible as he slowly opened his eyes. He groaned at the discomfort in his stomach when he stretched his aching limbs. He looked up to see his dad and the doctor both standing near his bed.

"What's going on?" he questioned the two men standing above him.

"Sam, I need to give you the shot that is going to numb your stomach for the surgical procedure to insert the catheter" stated Jack as he watched his patient tremble lightly from his words.

John rubbed his thumb in circles on Sammy's cheek as Jack swabbed an area on Sam's stomach to clean and sterilize it with an alcohol pad. He then pulled the plastic covering off the needle and inserted it into Sam's stomach. Sam immediately cried out at the pain of the needle going into his stomach.

"Ow, stop, it hurts" he gritted out through clenched teeth as tears began to form in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Sam. We're almost finished" the doctor said as he pressed the plunger to deliver the medication.

Tears started falling from Sam's eyes as he felt the burning sensation of the medicine entering his stomach. He grasped the sheets from his bed in his hand and clenched them tightly. After a few moments, his grip relaxed as the lidocaine kicked in and his abdominal area became numb and Sam was taken to another room so that Jack could perform the minor surgery required to insert the catheter tube into his stomach.

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Bobby woke up at six in the morning and got dressed knowing that he needed to get to the hospital. Sammy was going to have his dialysis treatment today and he wanted to be there to support the family. Bobby stopped by McDonald's on the way and picked up a quick breakfast and coffee for him and John. It was going to be a long morning and he knew that he and John would need the caffeine to get them through it.

Bobby arrived at the hospital room just as Dr. Mitchell was leaving the room. He nodded his head in greeting to the doctor as he walked into the boys room.

"Here John, I thought you might need some coffee and nourishment before Sammy starts his treatment today" Bobby said as he handed over a bag and a steaming cup of coffee.

John smiled his appreciation and said "Thanks Bobby" as he opened the bag to find a sausage and egg biscuit and an apple pie. He quickly unwrapped the biscuit and bit into it relishing the taste of the food in his mouth.

As he was eating, John heard "Where's mine?" Dean had woke up from the smell of the coffee and food in the room.

"Sorry Dean" replied Bobby, I didn't think you would be awake so I didn't get you anything.

"That's okay Bobby, I'm not really hungry anyway" Dean said as he looked over to see how Sammy was doing.

"How are you feeling this morning Dean?" John asked as he finished sipping his coffee. "You were burning up last night with fever."

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise and said "That must be why I feel so tired this morning after sleeping all night." He winced as he stretched and said "Why is my chest so sore?"

"That's because the doc had to clean out the cuts on your chest and re-stitch them. They were getting infected. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling bad Dean?" asked John needing to know Dean's reasoning for keeping it to himself.

"I was sucking it up like a Winchester is supposed to do" Dean said rather sarcastically, still not having totally forgiven their dad for what happened to Sammy.

John winced but didn't say anything to Dean's retort. He could understand the kid still being upset with him, hell he was still upset with himself.

Hearing the sound of voices talking, Sammy woke up once again to see Dean looking over towards him.

"Morning Dean" Sam said as he yawned and stretched. He felt along his stomach where the catheter had been inserted and noticed how weird it felt. Just as he was about to say something about it, Dr. Mitchell walked into the room.

"Are you ready for your first treatment Sam?" he asked as he walked over towards Sam's bed with a wheelchair.

"I-I g-guess so" Sam said as he turned to face Dean. "You're c-coming with me right Dean?"

"You know it little brother" relied Dean as he threw back the covers ready to get out of the bed.

"Hold it right there Dean" scolded Dr. Mitchell. "You were running a pretty high fever last night and the wounds in your chest were infected, there's no way I can allow you to go in the room with Sammy. The environment has to be kept as sterile as possible."

Tears started falling immediately from Sam's face. He hung his head trying not to show them knowing that his dad would think he was being weak again, but Dean saw them anyway.

Dean's heart dropped and his mouth gaped open. "You're kidding me right? There's no way I'm letting Sammy go through this without me."

I'm sorry Dean, but it's too dangerous for Sam. I'll sedate you to keep you here if I have to" Jack replied knowing how much it would upset both boys.

"Son of a bitch" growled Dean feeling totally frustrated as he watched his dad help a despondent Sam into the wheelchair.

"I'm going with him Dean, he won't be alone" John stated as he prepared to follow Sammy out the door. "I promise I'll take care of him until he's back in this room with you.

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Sam was laying on the bed in his treatment room as the nurse approached him with the machine that would pump the dialysis solution into his stomach.

"Don't you freaking touch me" he yelled as the nurse reached over to remove his pajama top.

Startled at the sudden outburst, the nurse looked towards John for help.

"Sammy, you need to let the nurse do her job son" John said with sympathy towards his youngest.

"I said no and you can't make me" cried Sam as he stubbornly refused to allow the treatment.

"Please Sammy, you've got to have this treatment so you can get better" pleaded John.

"If she comes near me again, I'll bite her!" swore the determined thirteen year old boy. "I want Dean and I want him now."

John ran his hand through his hair in frustration as he continued to plead with Sammy not knowing that Bobby was facing a similar situation with Dean.

_(Meanwhile, back in the boys room)_

"You can't make me stay here Bobby. Sammy needs me" Dean snarled as he attempted to climb out of the bed once again.

"For the last time Dean, the answer is no. You'll stay in that bed if I have to tie you to it ya damned idjit" Bobby cursed as he once again pushed Dean gently back onto his bed.

Dean turned moisture laden eyes up towards Bobby. "You don't understand Bobby, Sammy will be scared to death without me. I've got to be there for him . Please, you're killing me here."

Bobby rubbed his beard in frustration as he heard the phone ring. He picked up the receiver and growled "What?"

John's voice came through the other line and said _"I take it you're having as rough a time with Dean as I am with Sammy."_

_**TBC What will John and Bobby do to calm the boys down and get Sammy to take his treatment?**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 10**

**Disclaimer: **I only wish I owned them and I most definitely am not making a profit from this story.

**Previously**_**: **__Dean turned moisture laden eyes up towards Bobby. "You don't understand Bobby, Sammy will be scared to death without me. I've got to be there for him . Please, you're killing me here." _

_Bobby rubbed his beard in frustration as he heard the phone ring. He picked up the receiver and growled out "What?"_

_John's voice came through the other line and said "I take it you're having as rough a time with Dean as I am with Sammy."_

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"You're damned right I am" replied Bobby. "I'm about to tie your oldest to the bed to keep him here."

"_Listen Bobby, I want you to get a wheelchair and bring Dean down to floor number two. Bring him to the dialysis center and park him outside room number two-zero-six. There's a big window that the boys will be able to see each other through. I'll have a nurse take a phone extension to Dean so the boys can talk to each other. I'm at the end of my rope here. It's killing me to see Sammy so afraid and needing his brother."_

"I think you've just saved my sanity from this stubborn ass of a son you have here. I'll get right on it John" Bobby said as he hung up the phone.

Dean had listened to Bobby's end of the conversation and eagerly asked "What did he say Bobby? Can I go be with Sammy?"

"Just hold your horses boy and give me a minute to speak" Bobby said with affection. "Yes, you can go be with Sammy, but not actually in the same room. You're daddy wants me to take you down in a wheelchair and park you outside the window of Sammy's room where you boys can talk on the telephone."

"Aw Bobby, a wheelchair is so not cool" Dean said, morbid at the thought of people actually seeing him sitting in one.

"Sorry sport, but that's the only way you're going to get to see your brother. Now what's it going to be?" smirked Bobby knowing what Dean's answer would be.

"Go get the damned thing" said Dean as he crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn't about to give up the opportunity to be there for his little brother.

Bobby returned to the room a few minutes later and helped Dean into the chair. They left the room with Bobby pushing Dean with quick strides determined to get to Sammy as soon as possible.

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Down on floor number two, things were still in an uproar. John was trying to calm Sammy down as he was having a temper tantrum of epic proportions. Every time the nurse or John tried to approach him, Sammy swung out with his fists or his feet trying to connect solidly with the one trying to approach him.

"Come on Sammy, you've got to calm down before you hurt yourself. You could mess up the catheter in your stomach son" John pleaded hoping that Sammy would listen to common sense.

"Don't tell me what to do anymore. You don't care about me, only Dean does" Sammy screamed in frustration banging hi fists on the bed.

"That's not true Sammy. I know I've been hard on you at times, but that's because I was trying to toughen you up son. I love you whether you realize it or not" said John hoping to get the message through to his child's brain.

John closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said. "Listen Sammy, I've called Bobby and he's bringing Dean down. You'll see your brother in a few minutes through that window over there."

"Don't lie to me anymore dad. I've heard enough lies from you to last the rest of my life" Sam wailed as tears sprung to his eyes once again. He really, really needed his brother.

"I'm not lying to you Sammy, look…" John said as he pointed out the window where Bobby was coming down the hall with Dean in view.

Sam looked at the window to the area where his dad was pointing. An immediate look of relief crossed his face as he took sobbing breaths trying to calm himself down.

"Dean" he gasped as he reached out his hand towards his brother.

The tension fled from John's body as he watched his baby boy calming down at the sight of his big brother. He could relax now that he knew Sammy would allow the treatment to begin.

John turned to the nurse who also had a look of relief on her face and said, "He'll do much better if you let me push his bed over by the window there. He won't be able to actually touch Dean, but at least he can be right beside him."

That's a wonderful idea" stated the nurse as she unlocked the wheels to the bed that Sammy was lying on. John then pushed the bed over to the window where Dean was already sitting and watching the bed being moved.

When the bed was finally pushed against the window, Dean put his hand on it palm up while Sammy did the same. Dean noticed that Sammy's eyes glistened with tears and his heart fell wishing he could do more.

He got his wish right away as nurse brought him a phone extension and dialed the number two-zero-six which connected to Sammy's room. Dean watched as his dad picked up the ringing phone and carried it to Sammy.

"Hey there little brother" Dean said choking back the tears when John gave Sammy the receiver. "I'm here Sammy, you don't have to be afraid anymore."

Sammy smiled at his brother as he looked through the window. "I knew you would come." Sammy's voice then trailed off as he said "I'm scared Dean."

"I know you are, but I'm going to be right here the whole time Sammy. You just focus on me okay" Dean wanted to cry hearing his brother's words, but he had to be strong for Sammy.

"Okay Dean" Sammy whispered with his bottom lip trembling.

As the nurse lifted his pajama top and prepared to hook up the machine, Sam's eyes grew huge and tears began to flow down his face. The dialysis treatment was really going to happen.

Dean saw the fear in his brothers eyes right away. "SAMMY!" he called out, forcefully. When Sam turned to face him once again he said, "Look at me, not at what the nurse is doing." He was determined to get Sammy's focus away from the nurse.

"Hey Sammy, I was wondering what you want to do when we go to Bobby's house?" Dean asked wanting to keep his brother occupied. "I thought maybe we could go see a movie. I hear they're playing the STAR WARS trilogy in Sioux City, what do you think?"

"You mean we can watch all three Dean, all in the same day?" gushed Sammy at the prospect of seeing his favorite movies in a marathon showing.

"Hell yeah, it would be better that way don't ya think?" Dean asked as he and Sammy then got into a long animated discussion as to who was the better character, Han Solo or Luke Skywalker. They discussed the advantages of using a light saber or a tazer gun as the ultimate weapon. They talked about the ways they would have taken care of Darth Vader if they had ever gone up against him.

Dean continued to talk as he watched Sammy drifting off with a smile on his face. He had kept Sammy occupied to the point where his brother didn't even realize the treatment had begun. John reached over and removed the phone from his son's lax hand and put it to his own ear.

"He should sleep for a little while Dean. You did real good son" John said as he smiled at Dean through the window and then hung up the phone.

Dean leaned back in the wheelchair and relaxed as Sammy slept, content to watch his brother until they could be together in the same room once again.

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By the time Sammy woke up, he was back in his own room once again. He opened his eyes to see Dean silently watching him from his own bed.

"Hey there kiddo, glad to see you're finally awake" Dean said as he smiled at his little brother.

"How, how did I get back here?" Sammy asked in confusion since the last thing he remembered was talking to Dean on the phone.

"You sort of fell asleep in the middle of your treatment little brother" Dean answered slightly amused by his brother's confusion.

"I don't remember doing that" Sam said with a slight tinge of pink coloring his cheeks.

"Don't worry about it bro, that's okay. I'm just happy that you weren't scared while you got your treatment."

"That's only because of you Dean" Sammy admitted glad that he had such an awesome big brother.

John listened to his boys talking as he pretended to read a magazine while he waited on Bobby to get back with some food. Bobby had left a few minutes ago to get them something to eat from the local diner since the hospital food tasted like cardboard and weighed heavily on the stomach for hours after eating.

Ah he listened to the continuing conversation, John marveled at how easily Dean could calm Sammy down and make him feel like he was the most important thing in the world. He knew he should have been the one to make Sammy feel that way. Instead, he had missed cementing his fatherly bond with Sammy by staying gone more and more as he focused on the hunt leaving Dean to take over the role of father with his youngest child. And those were moments that John would never get back no matter how hard he tried. John determined at that moment, that he was going to do whatever it took to regain the love and the trust he had lost with his boys.

**TBC** **_Will John be able to rebuild his relationship wih his son_s**_**?** _


	11. Chapter 11

**Anger's heartbreak Ch. 11**

When it came time for Sammy's next treatment, Dean's infection was completely gone along with his fever and he was allowed to attend the treatment with his little brother. Sammy was once again taken to floor number two where the dialysis treatments occurred. As the nurse got things together, Dean pulled out a deck of playing cards. He was going to teach his little brother the ins and outs of poker.

"Okay Sammy, it's high time you learned how to play poker" Dean said as the nurse pulled up Sammy's pajama top once again to hook up the machine to the catheter that was inserted into Sammy's stomach. Dean dealt the cards as the nurse started the dialysis flowing through the machine and into the tube.

"First thing you've got to know Sammy, is that you never let the other players know what cards you have in your hand. Next thing you should know is that you always want to make the other player believe that you are holding a winning hand."

Dean then explained "Out of your five cards, you want to hold any pairs that you might have and throw away the others, unless they are the same suit, like five diamonds, or if you have a straight like five numbers in a row."

Dean watched as Sammy checked to see what cards he held in his hand. "Next, you discard the cards that aren't any good and I will give you the same amount to replace them" he said as he watched Sammy put down two of his cards. Dean then gave Sammy two more cards to replace the ones that he had discarded.

"Alright Sammy, now it is time to see who has the winning hand" he said as he placed his card on Sammy's bed face up. "I have three kings, which is a pretty good hand, now show me what you have."

Sammy turned his cards over to show that he had three nines and a pair of sevens. "Wow Sammy, that is what we call a full house. You won little brother." Dean whistled to show his enthusiasm for Sammy's first attempt at playing poker. The brothers continued playing poker with Dean teaching Sammy all about the rules of the game until his treatment was finished and they were allowed to return to Sammy's room.

And so went the next seven days, Sammy going for his treatments and Dean finding inventive ways to keep his brother's mind occupied until the treatments were finally over.

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Dr. Mitchell entered Sammy's room to see both brothers laughing as they watched a comedy on TV. He smiled as he watched the younger brother giggling at a particularly funny moment. It made his heart soar to see the young boy so happy after all that he had been through. Sammy had quickly become one of his favorite patients and he was going to hate to see the boy leave.

Dr. Mitchell cleared his throat to announce his presence in the room. Dean looked over to see the doctor leaning against the door frame dressed in blue jeans and a t-shirt with his lab coat on over it.

"Hey doc, nice to see that you aren't stuffy and formal all the time" he said as he watched the doctor smile.

"Don't tell anybody, but I hate those damned suits they make me wear every so often" he smirked as he winked his eye. 'Where's your dad and Bobby?"

"They went to get a cup of coffee. They should be back shortly, as a matter of fact, there they are now" Dean said as he gestured by pointing behind Jack towards the door.

"Now that I have everybody here, I thought you all might like to hear some good news." Jack stated as he watched the family look at him in anticipation of what he would say next.

"Tomorrow morning, I am going to remove the catheter from Sam's stomach and if everything goes according to plan, Sammy could be released the following day with strict instructions on how to make sure he eats a proper diet until his body is completely healthy once again."

Dean whooped and gave Sammy a high five when he heard the awesome news. "That's fantastic doc. No offence but I am so ready to exit this joint, not that you haven't been wonderful and all, I just hate hospitals."

"No offence taken Dean. Believe me, I'm happy that Sam is doing well enough to be released, though I'll hate to see him go. I'm really going to miss the kid."

Dr. Mitchell then spoke with John and Bobby about the special diet that Sam would need to eat once he was released from the hospital.

"Sammy is going to need to eat foods that are low in potassium and sodium and high in protein for a while. Make sure he stays away from vegetables such as potatoes that are high in potassium. If he feels the need to eat potatoes once in a while, you need to soak them in large amounts of water first for at least four hours. Soaking them over night would be even better. I would also stay away from the fast food restaurants since their foods are high in sodium content. I would also like for Sammy to drink a milk substitute for at least six months since he shouldn't have too many dairy products either." Jack then went on to say, "I know it will be hard for Sammy to adjust to this new diet, but it will be much better for his health. The dietician will give you a list of foods that are safe for Sammy and how much he can have before you leave."

"Don't worry doc, I'll make sure that Sammy eats the right way until he is cleared to eat regular foods once again" John stated as he shook the doctor's hand. "I don't know what we would have done without you. You've been great with Sammy and made things much easier for him. I don't know how to thank you for what you did for my baby boy."

"No thanks needed John" replied the doc. "It was my privilege to get to know such a fine young man." Jack stated before walking out the door.

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After the doc left, Dean decided it was time to get things out in the open about what he planned to do. He looked towards his dad and Bobby with conviction in his eyes and said. "Dad, I've decided that me and Sammy are going to go stay with Bobby for a little while if it is okay with him. I'm sorry, but I just don't trust you yet when it comes to Sammy. I know you can fight me on this since we're still underage, but if you try, I swear I will take Sammy and run the first chance I get and you will never see us again. I need some time dad to learn how to trust you again, to find out that you will put Sammy's needs before your own and not put him down because he doesn't suck it up all the time.

Sammy lay there in awe as he listened to the words his brother was saying. He had never heard anybody stand up to his dad they way that Dean was doing now. He had always known his brother loved him, but know he knew just how deep that love was.

John's head dropped at hearing his son's words. He knew that Dean was still upset with him, but to find out he didn't trust him, especially where Sammy was concerned was heartbreaking and he had nobody to blame but himself. If he was going to rebuild that trust, he would have to give Dean the time he needed because one thing was for sure, he couldn't lose his boys.

When John finally got himself together, he took a deep breath and said, "I understand how you feel Dean and I am going to do everything I can to regain the trust that you and Sammy have lost in me. I just ask that you allow me to come to Bobby's too so I can start rebuilding that trust. If you don't want me there, I'll stay at a motel. I just need to be near you boys, please at least allow me that Dean."

Dean looked over towards Sammy to see him nodding his head that it was okay with him. "Since it's okay with Sammy, then I guess you can come."

"I guess the only thing we need now is for you to say we can stay with you Bobby" Dean said as he looked at Bobby with expectant eyes.

"Hell yes, it's fine. You know you don't even have to ask Dean. You and Sammy can stay for as long as you need to. At least that way we'll know you boys are fine and Sammy will have a safe place to finish healing" Bobby stated firmly. He hoped he would be able to help the Winchesters to mend the rift between them and help them to become a family once again.

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As the day came for Sammy to be released from the hospital, all of his nurses came by to wish him farewell, even the one that he had threatened to bite. They kissed Sammy on the cheek as Dean watched in envy. _"Damn, even at thirteen, the kid has got it!" _he thought as he watched Sammy blushing from all of the attention.

"You'll learn to love all that female attention someday Sammy" Dean said as he playfully punched his little brother on the shoulder.

"Shut up jerk" Sammy said as he punched Dean back.

"No way bitch" Dean said as he watched John sign the papers signifying that Sammy could finally leave the hospital.

Dean and the others followed the nurse as she escorted Sammy out of the hospital in a wheelchair. Dean then helped Sammy into Bobby's pickup since it had been decided that the boys would ride with Bobby instead of with their dad. Dean knew it had upset John, but he didn't want the ride to be tense for Sammy since he was still pretty weak.

The ride back to Singer Salvage took quite a few hours since Bobby stopped to give Sammy a break from being cooped up in the truck. By the time they had arrived at Bobby's place, Sammy had fallen asleep leaning on his brother's shoulder. Dean eased himself out of the truck and then reached in to pick up Sammy and carry him inside without waking him up. Sammy had lost some weight in the hospital and Dean was easily able to carry the kid to the room that they would be sharing.

As Dean settled Sammy in, John and Bobby went shopping for the foods that was on the list that the dietician had given them prior to leaving the hospital. They were going to make sure that the kid had what he needed to eat, and to make things easier on the youngest Winchester, they would all be eating the same meals as Sammy.

Later that evening, they all settled down to a meal of baked chicken with fresh green beans, rice and a salad. Dean looked kind of sick at the thought of eating such healthy food, but he would do it for Sammy's sake. After they finished eating, everybody retired for the night.

As he lay awake in his bed, John thought about the things he would do to rebuild his relationship with his boys.

**TBC What will John do to bond with his children once again?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 12**

As dawn broke the next morning, John Winchester sat on Bobby's front porch watching the sun come up. He never was a late sleeper and enjoyed this time of the morning when he could sit alone and watch the majesty of another day blooming on the horizon. As he sipped on a fresh cup of steaming coffee, he prayed that this would be the day that Dean and Sam would start believing in him once again. He never realized just much he needed his boys until he almost lost them.

He picked up the morning paper to glace through the headlines since the others will still sleeping soundly inside. There was the usual headlines about a robbery occurring a few towns over, an accident out on the interstate that claimed two lives, and an article about a proposal for a new mall. But the headline that caught his attention this particular morning read JOHNSON BROTHER'S CIRCUS ARRIVES TODAY. John read the article and saw that a parade was planned at noon to show off some of the acts that would be performing during the circus.

"_Sammy's never been to a parade or a circus" _John though regretfully as he read the article. "_I'll have to bring up the parade at the breakfast table during discussion. Maybe both boys would like to go." _He knew that Sammy was still weak from his stay in the hospital, but they could carry some chairs and set them up along the parade route so Sammy could actually sit down and rest.

As he thought about the parade, John heard somebody up and moving about in the kitchen. He assumed it was Bobby so he got up and went inside. Bobby was getting things ready to start breakfast when John walked into the kitchen.

"Morning Bobby, you need some help?" John asked as he moved towards the coffee pot to refill his cup.

"Didn't realize you were already up" Bobby stated as he shook his head to decline John's offer. "No help needed. I'm just making some cream of wheat for breakfast." Then he thought better and said, "You can wash the blueberries that are in the refrigerator if you want to. They'll help to make breakfast a little more tasty for the boys."

John walked over to the fridge and removed the blueberries and started rinsing them. "Dean's really going to love this breakfast" he said with a smirk knowing how much Dean disliked cream of wheat from his childhood days. Sammy had always like healthy foods and seemed to thrive on them, but Dean was the total opposite. He wondered how long it would be before Dean had to sneak out and get a greasy burger to satisfy his hunger.

Bobby laughed at John's words. "Yeah, shouldn't be too long before we find that boy sneaking off to fulfill his need for a burger and fries full of saturated fat.

John raised his eyes in surprise at Bobby's words. "Damn, you just read my mind. I was thinking that exact same thing!" John stated seeing Bobby giving him a quizzical look.

"John, why don't you go wake up the boys. Breakfast is almost ready and I don't want it to get cold before they eat" Bobby stated as he turned off the cream of wheat and then put some whole wheat bread into the toaster.

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John walked into the boys room and said "Time to wake up boys, Bobby's got breakfast ready" loudly enough to awaken his slumbering boys.

"Jeez dad, do you have to be so cheerful" Dean grumbled since he wasn't a morning person. "You know I hate getting up with the damned chickens." He slowly pushed his blanket off as he sat up on the side of his bed and ran his hand through his sleep tussled hair while yawning.

Dean looked over to see Sammy sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the palms of his hands. "Hey Sammy, how you feeling?" he asked as he stood up and pulled on his jeans.

"M'okay Dean" Sammy said as he climbed out of the bed and got dressed himself.

The boys followed their dad down the stairs to find that Bobby already had their breakfast waiting on them.

"Mmmm Yummy" Dean stated as he made a face and stuck out his tongue at the thought of having to eat cream of wheat again. Of course he hid this from Sammy so the kid wouldn't feel bad.

Knowing how his brother disliked what was being served, Sammy smirked and said "But I thought you hated cream of wheat Dean."

"Bitch" Dean replied as he sat down at the table and watched Sammy do the same.

As they ate, John decided to mention the circus parade. "Hey boys, I read in the paper where there is a circus coming to town. They're going to have a parade at noon. What do ya think, do you want to go watch the parade?" John asked with hope in his voice.

"I don't know dad, Sammy's not to fond of clowns and there is bound to be a couple of them there" replied Dean not sure how Sammy would feel about going to the parade.

"_Damn" _thought John as he mentally kicked himself, _"I should have thought about that."_

Sammy watched as his father suddenly went from cheerful to sad and wistful in a matter of seconds upon hearing Dean's words. He was happy that his dad actually wanted to do something with him that didn't involve hunting.

"It's alright Dean, I'd really like to go if it's okay. I've never seen a parade before" Sam said as he waited in anticipation of what Dean would say.

"If you're sure Sammy. I don't want you getting upset so soon after getting out of the hospital" Dean replied not wanting to disappoint his little brother.

"I'm sure. Maybe we could leave before the clowns come, or I can just focus on something else until they pass by."

"Sounds like a plan" Dean said as he ruffled his little brother's hair while John watched with a huge smile on his face.

"We'll leave at eleven so we can find a good spot to watch" John stated as he looked at Bobby and said "What do you say old man, you want to come too?"

"Old man my ass, you aren't too young there yourself Winchester" Bobby grunted. "Of course, I'd like to come. Sounds like it might be fun."

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As they sat in their chairs waiting for the parade to start, Dean looked at the others and said "I've got to go make a pit stop. I'll be back in a few minutes." He then raced off to the McDonald's restaurant just down the street. He was dying to have a thick, juicy cheeseburger loaded with extra onions and a large helping of fries. He felt like he was starving to death, but didn't want to indulge in those foods in front of Sammy. He walked into the restaurant and ordered his meal. He ate quickly so that he could get back before the parade started.

John and Bobby both smiled as Dean walked off. They both knew that he wasn't going to use the restroom, that he was actually headed down the street to get him himself a meal from McDonald's.

John then focused his attention on Sammy. "You doing okay champ?" he asked as he noticed how pale Sammy still was.

"Yeah, I'm fine dad, just a little tired" Sammy answered in reply to his dad's question. He would be glad when his energy level returned to normal seeing as how the littlest things seemed to tire him out lately.

John gently tugged his child towards him and rested Sammy's head upon his shoulder. "Why don't you nap for a little while son. I'll wake you when the parade starts" he said as he felt Sammy relaxing into him.

Within minutes Sammy was lightly snoring, getting some much needed rest. Dean arrived moments later and instantly tensed when he saw his brother dozing on their dad's shoulder.

"What the hell, I was only gone a few minutes. What's wrong with Sammy?" he asked with a panic laced voice.

"Calm down Dean before you wake Sammy. He was just tired from all of the excitement of the morning. He's fine. I'll wake him when the parade starts." John said as he watched the tension flee from Dean's shoulders with his words.

Approximately thirty minutes later, Sammy was awakened to the sounds of a marching band coming down the street. He watched in awe as circus performers walked by juggling swords, swallowing fire, and doing feats of magic. He sat transfixed as he watched the elephants walking by and the lions in their cages.

Dean enjoyed watching his little brother's face more than he did the circus events. It was wonderful to see Sammy so happy for a change, to watch his eyes lighting up at the events occurring before him. "_You did good dad" _Dean thought as he returned his attention to the parade. As he watched, he saw that some clowns were about to make their appearance.

"Hey Sammy, let's go get something to drink" he said as he helped his brother up from the chair. He took Sammy by the arm and led him away into a convenience store and bought them both a soda. They stood drinking their colas and talking about the things they had seen until Dean was sure the clowns were out of sight before returning to their spots to watch the parade once again.

John smiled his appreciation at Dean for making sure that Sammy's day wasn't ruined by seeing the clowns. He nodded his head to say thank you as Dean returned the gesture.

Bobby was elated to see all of the Winchesters actually enjoying themselves for a change. Dean had let go of some of the anger towards his dad for a little while and it had changed his whole demeanor. Bobby had been worried about Dean because of the way the kid had seemed to age a few years during Sammy's treatments, but now he had lost those lines of worry on his face and looked more like the seventeen year old kid that he was.

The parade ended with a bunch of prancing horses dressed in their finest and looking regal as they performed for their audience. Everybody in the crowd whistled and applauded as they watched the horses go by.

"Wow, I think this was the best day ever" exclaimed Sammy as they picked up their chairs and got ready to leave.

"Yeah, it was awesome wasn't it little dude" Dean replied as he took Sammy's chair to carry it along with his own. "I didn't think it would be as much fun as it was."

"Well I can think of the perfect way to end our day out" Bobby said as he watched the two boys that he loved like his own.

"Oh yeah, how's that?" Dean questioned, wondering what Bobby had up his sleeve.

"With a yogurt cone from TCBY. Sammy isn't allowed to have regular ice cream because of the dairy content, but he is allowed to have yogurt" Bobby stated with a huge smile on his face.

"YAY" yelled Sammy excited by the prospect of getting the cool treat on such a warm day.

"Yogurt it is then" Bobby stated triumphantly pleased to bring such a bright smile to Sammy's face as the finally reached the car.

Dean and Sam chatted about their day at the parade while John drove them to the local TCBY. As John drove he thought "This really has been the best day ever!"

**TBC Were you happy with John's first attempt to reestablish his bond with his boys? **


	13. Chapter 13

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 13**

Over the next few weeks, Sammy became more and more healthy as he followed the diet that had been prescribed for him. He was finally getting his strength back and he had a better outlook on life. Dean realized part of that was because John had made such an effort in gaining back the trust of his sons.

Dean thought back over the past two weeks. Things had started off great as John took them to their first parade and Sammy had blossomed under his dad's attention ever since.

Just last week they all, including Bobby, had went to see the Star Wars trilogy at the local cinema. They hadn't been able to pig out on popcorn because of Sammys diet, but they had went for vegetarian pizza afterwards as a treat for Sammy. Later that evening, John had even stopped off at the local Walmart and went to the toy section. He purchased some fake lightsabers and other Star Wars merchandise.

When they had arrived back home, they had a major battle against the forces of evil, those being Bobby's dogs. Dean couldn't remember ever having laughed so hard. Hell, even Bobby had joined in the fun and by the time the battle was over, they all flopped down in the living room too tired to even move.

A few days after that, John and Bobby had taken the boys to the arcade and challenged the boys to games. John and Sammy had played a game of Asteroids while Bobby had challenged Dean to a game of Space Invaders.

John had started the game and racked up a score of one hundred and twenty five thousand points with his game prowess.

"Think you can beat that" he had asked Sammy gloating with a smug look on his face.

Of course Sammy had accepted the challenge and launched into the game with full focus intent on beating his dad. His hands had moved so agilely that John didn't stand a chance. By the time that Sammy had finished his game, he had racked up a score of five hundred and fifty thousand points. John had been totally blown away by his sons skill with the game and admitted defeat whole heartedly.

Dean on the other hand didn't fare as well with Bobby. Apparently, Bobby had played Space Invaders a lot as he hung out at the local pool hall. Bobby took the invaders out with ease laughing sinisterly each time he capped one off. By the end of his game, Bobby had racked up three hundred and seventy five thousand points.

"That's pretty impressive _old man _Dean had stated sarcastically, but now it is my turn.

Dean showed off some awesome moves in handling the joystick as he moved it back and forth taking out the aliens, but when it was all said and done, he had only racked up a score of three hundred and seventy two thousand points, which was three thousand less than Bobby's.

"Old man huh" Bobby snorted. "Looks like I whipped the pants off of you kid" he said with obvious satisfaction plastered on his face. Dean hung his head in defeat as John and Sammy had laughed at his and Bobby's antics.

They then went on to play games such as Pacman, Tetris, Snake, and Mission X with each game having a different winner. After three hours of nonstop fun, they had left the arcade to head back to Bobby's for a sumptuous meal of baked lamb chops with a side of puffed rice, and raspberry jello for dessert before going to bed.

Dean wondered what his dad had in store for them tomorrow as he lay in bed thinking. John had mentioned treating them to a special surprise and Dean couldn't imagine what it could be. He didn't know how Sammy could lay there in his bed sleeping not knowing what their dad had planned. Dean eventually fell asleep to the soft sounds of Sammy's even breathing knowing that his brother was well on his way to being completely healed.

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Upon waking up the next morning, John and the boys quickly ate breakfast and then headed into town. Sammy had a scheduled appointment with the doctor to see how well he was progressing. If Sammy had progressed far enough, today was the day he would be fully released to live his life normally with no more specialized diet.

John arrived at the doctor's office fifteen minutes before their allotted time, hoping to be seen early. But when they walked through the door, John saw that the office was filled.

"Damn" he muttered. "I freaking hate waiting in doctor's offices." John walked up to the receptionist and signed Sammy in on the clipboard. The nurse took his insurance information and then asked them to take a seat and wait because the doctor was running a little behind schedule today.

As they sat, John kept glancing at his watch. His surprise was planned for twelve noon and it was already ten o'clock. He hoped they wouldn't be late as everybody was expecting the Winchesters to be on time. Finally, the Winchesters were escorted into the doctor's office at ten thirty.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting Mr. Michaels." replied the doctor. " I had an emergency earlier and was late coming in today. We'll draw some blood from Sam's arm as quickly as possible and get it tested. As soon as I have the results, I will call you back in."

Sammy was taken to the lab where they drew some blood. He winced as the needle was inserted into his skin. He sure was hoping that it would be for the last time. The nurse drew three tubes of blood and then applied a pressure bandage to Sammy's arm. Afterwards, he was escorted back out to the waiting room with his father and brother.

After sitting another thirty minutes, the family was once again called into the doctor's office. The doctor looked at Sammy with a bright smile on his face and said "Sam, you'll be happy to know that you are doing very well, in fact, your results were better than we had expected them to be." The doctor then turned to face John and said, "I'm happy to say that your son can go back to leading a normal life with a normal diet. I just recommend that you have his blood checked at least once a year to make sure Sam doesn't experience any more trouble with his kidneys or liver."

Dean was whooping and hollering as they left the doctor's office. It felt wonderful to know that his little brother was finally healthy once again, and to make things even better, they could eat normal foods just like they used to. Dean knew if he had had to eat much more wholesome food, he would have surely died from a lack of saturated fats.

John was extremely happy to be leaving the doctor's office. He knew he had just enough time to drive the boys to the destination where their surprise would be waiting on them.

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At exactly twelve noon on the dot, John and the boys arrived at the Sioux County State Park where the surprise event was to take place.

"Hey dad, what are we doing here?" asked Dean wondering why on earth his dad had chosen to go to the park since they rarely ever visited them other than to take out evil spirits.

"Well Dean, I thought it was about time we had a family picnic" John stated as he walked with the boys to a designated area. Upon arriving, the boys were excited to see that all of their hunter friends were there. Pastor Jim had came in from his home in Blue earth, and Caleb and Joshua were there too along with Bobby.

As they approached the gang, John yelled out "Hey guys, I've got good news, Sammy's been given a clean bill of health today."

"Damn, that sure is good to hear" stated Bobby. "I'd say that calls for some of Jim's famous fried chicken. What do you Sammy, you ready for some good food?"

"Yes Sir, both boys said in unison as Jim pulled up the basket of food that he had prepared for the occasion along with Bobby.

The hunters all enjoyed a meal of fried chicken, potato salad, chips, cole slaw, baked beans, and brownie for dessert. After eating they all got together and played a game of Frisbee.

John was so happy to see his boys laughing and playing games with the others. It felt good to see them so carefree, but he knew that it wouldn't last much longer. Now that Sammy had been given a clean bill of health, John was looking forward to going back to hunting. He dreaded having to tell the boys but hoped that they would understand. He decided that he would break the news to them tomorrow and enjoy this happy time while he could.

After the game of Frisbee, the men decided they were all tired and needed a break.

"Anybody up for some fishing?" Joshua called out knowing that the boys would jump on the idea.

"Sounds fantastic to me, you got some poles?" Dean asked knowing that they didn't have any in the car.

"Sure do" replied Joshua as he had the boys follow him out to his truck. Joshua took the boys to the pond to fish while John and the others sat and watched.

Much to Joshua's chagrin, the boys were reeling fish in left and right while he couldn't even seem to get a bite.

"What's the matter there Josh, those boys are putting you to shame" called out Bobby sarcastically as John and the others laughed.

"Shut up you old coot" hollered Joshua as he tossed his line in the water once more after making sure he hadn't lost his bait. After fishing for a few hours, everybody decided to call an end to the day and packed up their gear and headed for home after saying their goodbyes.

"Hey dad, thanks for making this day so special. I really had a fun time" Sammy called out on their drive back to Bobby's.

"You're welcome kiddo" John replied smiling at his son through the rearview mirror.

As they drove home, John wondered what kind of reaction he was going to get from his boys when he mentioned going back to the hunt tomorrow.

_**TBC How do you think the boys will react to John's news about going back to the hunt?**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Anger's Heartbreak Ch. 14**

As Sammy lay in bed that night, he thought about all of the fun things that his father had done with him and Dean over the previous month. His father had taken great pains to let them know that they were loved and cherished. He had made sure they got to experience what it was like to be _normal_and Sammy really appreciated that. But he also knew what it was doing to their father not being able to hunt. He could see the longing in his father's eyes today as he and conversed with the other hunters at the picnic and he couldn't blame him for feeling the need to go back to the hunt.

As he thought, Sammy came to a decision that he hoped would please Dean. He looked over to see that Dean was still awake as he lay with his hands laced behind his head.

"Hey Dean" Sammy said as he turned on his side to face his brother.

"Yeah Sammy?" Dean asked knowing that his little brother had something on his mind.

"Dad sure has been awesome hasn't he over this past month " Sammy said with a bright smile.

"Yeah he has, he has really made an effort to be a father instead of a drill sergeant. It's been kind of nice to do so many fun things, but it's starting to lose it's appeal too ya know.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about Dean, I was watching dad earlier today when he didn't know I was. He really misses the hunt Dean and I know he needs to find and destroy the demon that killed mom. I think we should talk to dad tomorrow about maybe going back to the hunt" Sammy said as he waited for Dean's reaction.

"What, are you kidding. Sammy you've been fighting with dad about the hunt for months and now you wanna go back to hunting" Dean asked incredulously.

"Don't get me wrong Dean, I don't want it to become the sole focus of our lives again, but maybe we could hunt a couple of weeks out of the month. I don't want dad to look back in a few years and start to resenting us because we kept him from finding the thing that destroyed our lives and killed mom. Please think about it Dean" Sammy said as he looked at Dean with pleading eyes.

"I don't even need to think about Sammy, I understand your reasoning and I am willing to start hunting again as long as dad doesn't become obsessed to the point of neglecting you again. But hear me well, if it does come to that, I will take you so far away from dad that he'll never see you again and I mean what I say."

"Thanks Dean, I know this was hard for you to accept and I appreciate it" said Sammy letting his brother know how he felt.

"You're welcome kiddo, now get some sleep" Dean replied hoping he hadn't made the wrong decision.

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While the boys were up in their room having gone to bed, Bobby and John were out in the salvage yard finishing up the work on a 1969 Ford Mustang that Bobby had promised to have finished by tomorrow. As they worked side by side, John decided it would be a good time to fill Bobby in on his plans knowing that he was probably in for a fight.

"Hey Bobby, I just thought I should let you know that I am planning on talking to the boys tomorrow about going back on the hunt" John said as he tightened the head gasket.

Bobby's head immediately shot up upon hearing John's words, hitting the hood with force.

"Ow damn it" Bobby said as he rubbed the sore spot on his head after having removed his ball cap. He turned angry eyes towards John and said "You son of a bitch, what the hell are you doing that for? You give the boys a taste of normal and now you want to pull it away from them. What the hell is wrong with you Winchester?"

I just think it's time to go back Bobby. We can't keep pretending that the yellow eyed demon never affected out lives. That murdering bastard is still out there and I can't just sit here on my ass while he continues killing innocent women and babies" replied John trying to explain his reasoning for hunting again.

"Yeah, well you can't keep putting your sons lives on the line either John. Those boys ought to be your top priority. Damn it you fool, you almost lost your youngest because of your obsession with the hunt" Bobby grit out through clenched teeth as he thought about how close they had come to losing Sammy.

"Those boys are my top priority and they always will be Bobby. I know I've been rough on Sammy trying to toughen him up. Sooner or later the kid has to grow up and face the life that's been laid out before him. He wasn't given the choice for an apple pie existence. That demon was most likely after him Bobby. While the hell do you think it killed Mary in his nursery all those years ago. I've got to make sure Sammy and Dean are ready when it makes it's move again.

"Shit John, I know how you feel, but I'm worried about how those boys are going to take the news. I swear to you if you break Sammy's heart, I'll fill your ass full of buckshot, you hear me" said Bobby meaning every word he had just said.

"I hear you man and thanks for caring about my boys. I'm glad to know they'll have you if anything ever happens to me" John replied knowing that Bobby truly loved his kids like they were his own.

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The boys awoke early the next morning to the smell of eggs and bacon cooking on the stove. Dean's stomach danced in delight at the thought of having such a wonderful breakfast.

"Mmmm, that smells wonderful" Dean said as he walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. "How long before breakfast is ready? It's been so damn long since I had a good breakfast that I forgot what one tastes like."

"Sit yourself down Dean" Bobby replied. "It's just about ready now. By the way, where's Sammy?"

"He's taking a quick shower before he comes down" Dean said as Bobby set a plate filled with eggs, bacon, toast and hash browns in front of him.

Dean rubbed his hands together in glee, He picked up his fork and launched into his breakfast. "Oh wow, this is wonderful" Dean said as he spoke with his mouth full.

"Jeez Dean, where'd you learn your table manners from?" Bobby asked as he shook his head at the teenager. "Better slow down boy or you'll make yourself sick."

Just as Dean was about to reply, he heard Sammy coming down the steps. "Hey there Sammy, you got here just in time little dude. I was about to eat your breakfast too kiddo."

Sammy laughed as he said "I'm surprised you didn't since you're a human garbage disposal."

"Hey, I resent that remark" Dean laughed as Sammy sat at the table. Bobby put a plate of food in front of Sammy as they all turned at the sound of the front door opening. "Morning dad" both boys called out as they saw their father walking through the door.

"Morning boys" John replied as he walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He had just finished packing his gear and checking the hidden weapons compartment in the trunk of the Impala. He had checked to make sure all of their weapons were in working order and to see if there was anything they would need to stock up on before leaving Bobby's.

As John sat at the table, he glanced at his boys to see that they seemed to be in a pretty good mood. _"Perfect" _he thought hoping that it would make his news about leaving for the hunt a little easier to digest.

Just as he was about to speak, Sammy looked at his dad and said. "Hey dad, I was wondering when we were gonna start hunting again?"

John's jaw opened in total shock. He couldn't believe that his youngest had just asked about hunting again. He had been so sure that the boys were going to be upset when he told them he wanted to start hunting again and now his baby was basically giving him permission to start again.

"Did I just hear you right Sammy? Are you ready to start hunting again?" John asked in disbelief.

"I guess so" replied Sammy. "Dean and I was kind of talking about it in bed last night. I know that you need to find the thing that killed mom and I do to, but I still want to do other things too and I hope you will understand that."

"And what do you have to say about this Dean?" John asked needing to know how Dean felt also. Things had finally gotten back to normal as Dean started trusting him again and John didn't want to mess that up.

"Like I told Sammy, I'm okay with it, hell I'm ready to go back to the hunt. But I also know that if you become obsessed again to the point that Sammy is neglected again, I will take Sammy and run so far that you'll never see us again. And you know I mean what I am saying dad."

"I know you mean it Dean, and I swear I will do my best to not become consumed by the hunt. I love you boys and I've learned my lesson. I won't take any more chances with your life or Sammy's if it is within my control" swore John as he looked both of his boys in the eyes.

Bobby sat amazed as he listened to the Winchesters conversation. He was happy that things were working out for all of them, but was sad at the prospect of the family leaving. He had become used to having the boys around and the place was sure going to feel lonely without them.

After finishing breakfast, the Winchesters loaded up the Impala with the rest of their gear. Bobby walked outside with the family as they prepared to leave. Sammy had tears flowing down his face as he wrapped his arms around Bobby and said, "I'm sure going to miss you Bobby. You've become like a father to me over the past month and I want you to know that I love you."

Tears fell from Bobby's eyes as he heard the words the youngest Winchester was saying to him. His heart was breaking knowing that the kid was leaving, but he had to put a smile on his face to make it easier for Sammy.

"I love you too kid and I'm really going to miss having you and your brother around here. Just know that you and Dean will always have a home here if you need one" Bobby said as he hugged Sammy fiercely. He then looked up and said "You better take care of this kid Winchester or I'll make good on my promise to fill your ass full of buckshot."

Dean then walked over and shook Bobby's hand preferring not to have a chick flick moment. "Thanks for all you've done Bobby. You were there for us when we really needed you and I'll never forget that."

"Just call me any time you need me and I'll be there Dean" Bobby said as he pulled him into a hug. I'll miss you boys" Bobby said as he placed his hand on Dean's shoulder.

The Winchesters climbed in the Impala and waved goodbye as John started the car and pulled out of the salvage yard.

**THE END. I just want to say thanks for the support you have given me throughout this story. It has been an awesome ride and I am very thankful that you supported me each and every step of the way. I wasn't sure if you would like to see them go on their first hunt again as a family. Let me know if you would like an epilogue to this story.**


	15. EPILOGUE

**Anger's Heartbreak: The Epilogue**

**Author's Note:** I am having **major problems** **with my internet provider** right now. I will get all my stories updated as soon as possible. I am now typing them up on my sister's laptop.

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It had been just over a week since the Winchester's had left Bobby's place. John had been taking it easy, stopping often to make sure that Sammy had a chance to stretch his legs. They had yet to go on their first hunt since John wasn't actively seeking them out. He wanted to make sure that their first hunt back wasn't too dangerous for his baby boy. Since they had stopped for the night, John was sitting at the table in the motel room scanning the newspaper when his eyes happened upon what he thought could be a possible hunt.

As John read the article, he found out that three people had been killed at a construction site for a new mall after an unidentified grave had been dug up and the bones relocated to the cemetery in town. Work had been called off at the construction site until authorities could establish what was causing the deaths. Knowing that they were most likely dealing with an angry spirit, John had decided to salt and burn the bones which would hopefully stop the killings.

John looked up from reading the newspaper article to see Dean and Sam lying on their beds watching Baywatch on the television. He smirked at the way Dean watched the lifeguards frolicking around in their skimpy bathing suits. It was obvious Dean watched the show for the view and not for the entertainment that it provided. John decided it was time to tell his boys about the hunt.

"Hey boys, I think I've found us our first hunt" he said as he watched and waited for their reactions. He watched as Dean first looked at Sammy to see what his reaction would be to the news.

Sammy immediately sat up and focused on his dad. "What did you find" he asked as he focused his full attention on his dad.

"There has been some people killed at a construction site here in town. It turns out that an unmarked grave had been found at the site and the county had dug it up and relocated the bones to the city cemetery so they could build a new mall. My bet is that they are now dealing with an angry spirit over having its grave desecrated. I think we should go to the cemetery and dig up the body for a salt and burn. That should stop the deaths from occurring. What do you say boys?" John asked wanting their input.

"Yeah, that doesn't sound too bad for our first hunt back" Dean said as he looked at Sammy. "Think you're up for it little dude?" he asked his baby brother. If he saw any reservations in Sammy's eyes, Dean was determined to make sure that they waited for another time to hunt.

"Yeah, I think I can handle this one" Sammy said with a gleam in his eyes. He knew that Dean would be there to watch his back if things went wrong, and honestly, he was happy that his dad had chosen a relatively easy hunt for their first time back.

"Okay, well let's get some sleep then and we'll head on out to the cemetery after midnight to take care of the bodies" John said as he watched Dean shut off the television. He watched as both boys stripped off their jeans and climbed under the blankets to go to sleep while he did a little more research to locate the exact location of the graves.

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It was just after midnight when John woke his boys up and they headed out to Gravehill Cemetery. Upon arriving, they got their gear out of the trunk and John led his boys to the southwest corner where the graves were located. John carried the shovels and gasoline while Dean carried the salt and the guns they would need for the job. Sammy shook his head and smirked as they hadn't allowed him to carry anything.

John scanned the graveyard constantly as they made their way to the graves to make sure they weren't being watched. Finally reaching the graves, he handled 

Dean a shovel and kept one for himself as he said "Let's get to work Dean. Sammy you take the rifle and keep a watch while we dig the grave."

Dean immediately dug his shovel into the hard ground as John did the same. They had dug for approximately an hour when Dean stopped to wipe the sweat from his face. Seeing how tired Dean was, Sammy said "I can take over for you Dean" as he reached out to take the shovel.

Dean grinned at his little brother and his willingness to take over. "No way bro, I can handle this" he said with a smirk. He didn't want Sammy to exert himself just yet since Sammy hadn't really done any heavy duty work since he had been so sick.

After digging for almost three hours, John heard the thunking sound of his shovel hitting the lid of the casket. "Okay boys, watch your backs" he said as he started scooping the dirt off of the lid. Dean climbed out of the grave and lifted one of the guns as his father used his shovel to pry open the lid. The boys were immediately hit with the noxious smell that always came with opening graves. Both boys winced at the smell as John climbed out of the grave.

As John prepared to pour the gasoline over the body, a swirling wind began to build up as the area became suddenly cold. Leaves began blowing around as Dean watched a form beginning to coalesce. He pointed his gun towards the melding form and fired. He heard an unearthly shriek as the salt pellets scattered the form once again.

"Hurry Dad" Dean said as he and Sammy kept watch. John quickly poured the gasoline and salt over the form and was lighting a match when he saw the spirit take form again right behind Sammy. John immediately threw himself at Sammy knocking him to the ground and covering him with his own body as the spirit launched a shovel at them. John grunted as his shovel hit him hard in the back as he heard the sound of Dean's gun firing.

Dean immediately picked up the matches that his father had dropped and lit them quickly dropping them into the grave. He watched as the fire immediately consumed the bones as his father helped Sammy get to his feet. He felt elated at 

knowing that his dad had used his own body to protect Sammy, his dad really was making a conscious effort to watch over Sammy and his safety.

"You okay Sammy?" John asked as he looked Sammy over to make sure he hadn't been injured from being knocked to the ground.

"M'okay dad" Sammy replied as he brushed the dirt from his jeans. He looked over to see the flames starting to die down as the bones were cremated into ashes by the intense heat of the fire.

After the fire had turned the bones to ashes, they shoveled the dirt back into the grave and then gathered their gear to take it back to the Impala. While Dean and Sam stashed their gear, John returned to the grave area to clean up any signs of their ever having been there.

On the drive back to the motel, Sammy fell asleep stretched out as much as he could be on the back seat with his head pillowed on Dean's jacket. After looking back to check on his brother, Dean focused on John and said "Thanks Dad, I mean for watching out for Sammy back there and shielding him with your own body."

John was surprised to hear Dean thanking him and it showed on his face. "You don't have to thank me son, it's my job too to make sure the kid stays safe. You know, I would do the same thing for you too Dean."

"Yeah, I know that dad. I'm just glad to know that Sammy is still a top priority for you now that we've resumed the hunt" Dean said wanting his father to know how he felt.

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After arriving back at their motel, Dean woke Sammy up and they walked back into the motel room where Sammy collapsed on the bed and fell asleep immediately. Dean snickered at the sight of his baby brother and wondered how the kid could fall asleep so fast. He reached over and unsnapped Sammy's jeans and pulled them off so that the kid could be more comfortable while he slept. He 

pulled the top blanket off of the other bed in the room and covered Sammy up as he saw his father walking into the room.

Dean took a quick shower while his dad put down salt lines around the door and the windows. He then climbed into the bed beside Sammy while their dad took a shower to wash off the dirt and smoky smell from the hunt. Dean contemplated how perfect this first hunt back had gone and hoped that future hunts would go as well.

Dean looked up from his bed as he saw his father come out of the bathroom. He watched as his father checked on Sammy and leaned down to kiss his baby brother on the forehead, while brushing the hair from Sammy's face. John then looked over at Dean and said "Go to sleep sport" as he climbed into the other bed falling instantly asleep.

**THE END**

**Sorry this chapter is so short, but I have decided to do a sequel called Anger's Betrayal. Hopefully, I will see you there, if not, just know that I sincerely appreciated all the reviews and the support that you gave me with this story. It truly meant the world to me.**


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